Saturday, January 3, 2026

Crime Con 2025

 My heart aches for John Ramsey. I want to give him a huge hug. He spoke and met with authorities up there while in Denver. Stupid Boulder still won't release the DNA. He said they can afford to issue a picogram (one trillionth of a gram) to some place like Othram. Back in the day, it took a dime size. He offered to raise a million dollars to pay for the test and was still told no. To me this indicates it's an inside job in the police or DA office. His attorney of 28 years was with him. A new team is on the case, but the Colorado Investigative Bureau is not known for speed.

An FBI profiler said the murderer is either angry or jealous of Ramsey or it was a kidnapping gone wrong. A retired detective said someone wanted ransom, is male, sadistic and psychopathic. Whoever is "pure, demonic, evil." Ramsey said he didn't know anyone in his company or in his life who approached that kind of evil. He believes there is a 70 percent chance of solving with DNA examination. But Boulder says they need to keep some for the future defense attorney. Ramsey said that is an obsolete reason because of new technology. He has never ever gone back to the Boulder house. Just can't.

One thousand children are murdered every year. There are 18,000 police jurisdictions. The chief is on an island. The Boulder one didn't want help. Ramsey was worried that Moscow, Idaho, could be a Boulder, but that chief used the FBI and state police. Boulder was just plain negligent.

He said he met Elizabeth Smart's father and asked how he could go on when she was missing for months Jon Benet was missing for six hours. Smart had a gut feeling she was alive.

Ramsey said leads were a nuisance to Boulder police. He said leads on a phone today are primitive.  His attorney believes there is DNA on the garrote. There were splinters on Jon Benet and in Jon Benet. They are both more hopeful than they have ever been on finding the killer. The moderator who is a friend and author said she knows many things, like two cops in a meeting saying they knew it was the parents. It kind of stuck on them. Until it didn't. They were not given a subpoena for the grand jury though they volunteered. They would have had to be shown all statements made about them. Was that why--something made up/fake news? If I was a grand juror, I'd be outraged, it was said. Ramsey said they have nothing to hide. They are innocent. The police even wanted to withhold Jon Benet's body, but she did manage to get released for her funeral. The media didn't seem to report anything favorable toward the Ramseys.

There is a petition for Colorado to adopt a version of the federal Homicide Victims' Families' Rights Act so loved ones can request a review using today's investigative tools. The last petition to the governor for a cold case review and new eyes got 55,000 signatures when Ramsey was hoping for 500. The Ramsey family has been slandered and mistreated for 29 years. IT IS TIME FOR JUSTICE. As Ramsey said, there has been “monstrous untruth of them.”

Aurora

Two Aurora retired police officers go around the world talking about what went wrong and right at the theater shooting. The killer had the guns legally and 3,000 rounds of ammo. Twelve were killed (one as young as 6). Police officers took 27 victims to hospitals themselves. The loser scouted sites and picked the theater for the maximum kill rate. It was a midnight movie with 350 people in theater 9. 1,100 people were in the entire building. Remember when you see a movie and spot someone on the front row seat near an exit, it could be suspicious. Leave. He put a clip on the door. He had satin sheets on his bed, so the policeman said you know he is weird.

911 couldn't hear the address because of all the shots. The first call alone had 37 rounds. They now train to know those sounds. Some moviegoers thought it was part of theatrics. The next call was from a 16-year-old employee who knew the address. 126 Aurora officers were sent and they needed more from Denver. Aurora is usually used for backup. The first arrival was in 2 minutes and 42 seconds, considered quick. Lanes were down from 6 to 2 due to construction. One off-duty officer had a key to the building from having worked there.

Complicating the matter was they didn't know if the one guy acted alone. He was spotted because he didn't have a police-type gas mask and he placed his gun on top of his car. Police don't do that. He wanted to live--even carried tourniquets. They train that if there is 1, there is 2. If there are 2, there are 3, and so on.

The movie kept playing because employees ran out. It was dark, there was gas; there was death all around.

Police don't go out and hurt people; they save lives. One made four separate trips to the hospital with six critically ill. In 49 minutes, all were evacuated out of the theater. One hospital was on diversion, but still managed to care for every patient. 76 rounds were fired inside. A lady in an adjoining theater took a shot to the face.

All with surviving type wounds lived. One even had organs falling out. There were 70 non-fatal injuries. 20 taken by ambulance, 12 by private vehicle and one who walked.

A photo showed the lines of bullets. You can see he aimed at those escaping. He had target practice sheets in his dumpster.

People with badges and stethoscopes are heroes.

Marcia Clark

Marcia Clark's first time at Crime Con. To discuss her book "Trial by Ambush" about the Barbara Graham trial. This was made into a movie called "I Want to Live" with Susan Hayward, who won best actress. The crime took place in 1953 and is very complicated to me. She had been poor and neglected. Her mom kept throwing her out and she made money by being a dice girl and shill. The victim was believed to have some of her son-in-law's money, but it was not found. She was living in the former home. She did have money and jewelry in her purse. She and her husband had been vaudeville skaters and champs. The verdict took two days for all on trial and they got the death penalty. It only took two or three years for them to die. She had a 5-year-old son. At the time of her death, her hair and clothing were being described. The defense attorney said she only testified to flaunt herself and seduce the male jurors. Her attorney objected, but it was overruled. Marcia looks a little shiny and her hair is a mess! She is working on another book.

Matt Murphy

Matt Murphy, my favorite presenter, talked about a Marine who was a serial killer and the defense blamed it on fetal alcohol syndrome.  He learned the subject matter from their writings and found ways to contradict them. For instance, one said we don't use the words mental retardation. He has video of him doing so. The Marine really had a normal life. These took place in California and Chicago. The women were stabbed or shot. One in a trunk tried to send mental signals to family. She did escape and amazingly a car was driving by in the desert to help her. The trial lasted six months and their families came from faraway places.

The capture: A rookie cop sees a sex worker in an argument and the dude has a firearm. He made the arrest when it matched up with some of the cases. He retrieved the gun one day before it was to be destroyed. One of the victim's roommates IDs was found with the Marine.

His first two convictions were commuted. But Matt says there are no free murders and got him to California for the others.

THE BEST LINES WERE THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY. "THE TRUTH AND BULL SHIT."

Matt hates what they did with BK; he wanted it to go to trial.

He said one takeaway is we learned what a philtrum is. Fetal alcohol victims have a smooth one, low birth weight and can't extend their fingers. He had a photo where the Marine could extend.

He said so-called expert witnesses do it for the money, are stupid or because they are against the death penalty. For instance, they even had his report card. One said he made Fs. But F meant fair.

Matt said serial killers perfect their technique as they go. He went from binding with twine to leather to handcuffs.

Marine hung himself in jail. He told Matt his PowerPoint was good before going to jail.

Joseph Scott Morgan

New Orleanian Joseph Scott Morgan talked about post-mortem interval assessment. There are seven cardinal signs of death.  Lack of respiration (does breath fog a mirror?), lack of pulse or heartbeat, fixed pupils, unresponsive to painful stimuli, cold skin, rigor or livor mortis (blue/purplish—I was livid comes from this), overt decomposition (odor, skin marbling or slippage, bloating). In the first hour of death, the body loses two degrees, then one degree up until the 12th.

The death investigator is an advocate for them—the voiceless. He was nervous for his first media interview. He was a professor so the reporter told him to just teach him.

He told a story of a fellow on his team that saw a hand of a supposed deceased move. Turns out it was the time of AIDS and the first responders didn’t want to deal with the blood from the slit wrists. The wrists were stitched, the person got blood and survived.

His exams are done on the scene—may be a road (could have been driven over) or open field: blood, onlookers, weather, maggots. Rain, humidity and barometric pressure affect the body temp.

He talked about the catacombs in Paris. They are multiple stories of stacked human remains due to overflowing cemeteries.

Luigi Mangione

That creep Luigi Mangione’s began with a virtual timeline. He had a fake ID at a hotel, paid cash at a Starbucks before the murder and discarded the cup (evidence), rode an e-bike in Central Park, ditched it, caught a cab where he is on video and then is spotted at the McDonald’s in Pennsylvania. He printed the gun, we know, and the silencer, did not know. He thought about the murder since August per his journals. He was in San Francisco thinking about killing someone from an architectural firm that builds healthcare facilities. He read about the Unabomber. He switched plans and followed Brian Thompson the night before he shot him. I would call this terrorism because it intimidates the population, people in similar jobs. Dude was class president and valedictorian and from a wealthy family. His cousin is in the Maryland legislature. He most certainly could have taken a different route to expose his issues. Some think United Health Care PAC gives to politicians so they would not be interested in laws that would hurt United Health Care.  I looked up Louisiana’s and it is pictured. Some think he is telegenic and could have been a spokesman for something of substance. I think he looks disgusting. His likeness was used to model a shirt on Shein. He thought he was representing people who don’t have a voice. I tell you everybody has a voice. Thompson’s family is still scared to come out. Dude thought some of the company’s policyholders were being murdered when denied, which could be true, but we don’t live vigilante style. Idiots are contributing to GiveSendGo even though dude’s family is wealthy. I will never ever use that site. GoFundMe does not accept such legal fundraisers. Ending: If you were dude, how would you explain your stupid rationale to Brian Thompson’s family?

And while I'm at it, why do South Carolina legislators choose judges? Not popular vote. This would seem to the father of Logan to not be well served because many of the legislators are attorneys who will represent someone before said judges and not get a fair trial. They would likely be thankful to legislators who put them in. Makes no sense to me.

Josh

I never pass up the opportunity to listen to Josh Mankiewicz’s session. He just renewed his contract. He turned 70, has been in the business 50 years and with Dateline, 30. He said love triangles are Dateline’s favorite part of geometry.  What’s different about Dateline journalism is there is no rush. They can interview someone two to three hours, plus talk beforehand. Mankie is happy he played a part in getting focus on minority crime stories. For example, there was a guy from Ghana who smoked dope long before it was legal in some places and a Russian guy was in the story. This episode came at a time when there were fewer story ideas and got high rankings. It was originally thought that minorities, people with access and those who were breaking the law and became a victim were a tough sell. Turns out that compelling and well told stories are all that is needed. All of the cast has different styles. Dateline wants them to sound like them and act like themselves. They asked for applause for those who listen live, stream or do the podcast. I was shocked that live did not win; I do not miss it. There have been 3,000 episodes and Mank has his favorites. He got asked about Keith and says he always posts he is going over to Keith’s to watch on Friday night. He’ll act like it is a long journey, with a camel, sea plane or canoe. He’ll also mention Boggle; he just thinks Keith is the Boggle type. He also made caricatures of the cast during the Olympics. He said back in the day, the news wanted people to cry; it would always be shown. Now, they like to give the interviewees a moment to leave the room or get a tissue. It’s hard to be in front of strangers with lights and cameras and makeup. Collecting themselves is more valuable than crying, he said. He was asked the most chilling killer and it was the guy who killed the people on the yacht. He said a memorable time was almost getting a beatdown in a Montana prison. Someone asked why are criminals so stupid. Mankie recalled someone buying a burner phone with a gift card registered to him. Dumb ones make it so much easier to solve.

Peter Van Sant

Peter Van Sant is so tall. He spoke of a Washington case about a dog trainer, heiress and body guard. A lady’s ex stalked her and she later got involved with her bodyguard who killed him. She was six feet tall and he was 5’6.” From far off, people thought she had a child. The panel believed she groomed the new boyfriend to kill. She wanted ex gone gone, not just to have papers of restraining orders.  There was even reverse stalking where new bf put drugs under ex’s vehicle. The body has never been found and there is talk that a hole was pre-dug. Murderer even returned some bolt cutters to Lowe’s but is on video at Walmart buying tarp and shin guards to protect from the dog trainer’s animals at 4 a.m. There is a freemichieloakes website. Why can’t the courts just handle everything without the public? Karen Read, Luigi. Stalking is horrific. Last Friday’s Dateline was a guy who wanted his wife gone and blamed an ex-boyfriend as the stalker, but got caught and last night’s “48 Hours” was the man in an affair with someone’s wife being the stalker of her husband and killing him.

Leo Schofield

Leo Schofield is convicted of murdering his wife of 18 in Florida in 1987 after six months of marriage. Someone else has confessed. He was a serial killer. She didn't come home from work and was found by her father-in-law with 26 stab wounds in a drainage ditch. She lost a half gallon of blood. The trailer neighbor lied about things and no blood was found in their home. The killer's brand of cigarettes was found at the site. There were other fingerprints on the car. Leo remarried a social worker in prison. Leo forgave the killer.

The Delphi Murders

These families have been around since my first time. This small town of 1,000 got 70,000 tips. They said information was their main weapon. In Indiana, jurors can ask questions. The prosecutor didn't want them to go to the scene. They could have been tampered with and the bridge was risky. I noticed he had an error on his slide. It was a trail where he put trial. Ugh.

These are family members of Libby and Abby. They said there will be generational trauma. I never thought about this. Their grandkids will one day see crime scene photos. They have a hard time with graduations of their classmates, and now weddings.

They said people will never know who they were before the murders. They said they wouldn't want the job of a judge week after week.

There is an annual Operation Christmas Child for Abby.

There is a Hulu episode out about this case. The defense attorneys were recording themselves. The dad of one of the victims said he has worked 40 years and never recorded himself at his job and found that odd.

There was a sketch of the suspect where he worked in CVS. They hinted to look behind you in the store and try to remember something about a person to practice helping with a sketch if you ever need to. I am going to do this.

Daybell Vallow

Colby Ryan, son of Lori Daybell Vallow, thinks his mom is a monster. She sent him a message through moderator Nate Eaton that said Matthew 25 today. He is very upset that his brother was found in a bag and his sister was just remnants. Lori told him she wanted to be cremated. Nate's reporting on the missing of DeOrr Kunz is still my favorite Crime Con story. He has really gotten some stories in Idado of all places. This and the Idaho 4.

Fatal Attraction

I'd Kill To Be You. It is about those obsessed with another's life so much that they want to take it. You enjoy someone's demise. This girl had an acquaintance who had a boyfriend and child. She had psuedocyesis, which is a phantom pregnancy (even had extended stomach) and went with her mother to the hospital. Later she killed and burned down her acquaintance's house. She took her baby and went to live with her mother for six years. Now, the mother knew she wasn't pregnant and knew her friend was killed, but never reported the situation. Mom was eventually charged with felony child concealment. She got three years of probation. This talk mentioned why people are obsessed with true crime. It's about helping solve, seeing the technology and learning to protect yourself. Like after a recent episode, I really watch where I park and probably always should have. And I'll never get in a boat without someone knowing.

Missing Babies

There are 342 missing babies, 0 to 6 months from 1964-2024. Either from home, a health-care facility or parking lot or something. The profile of a taker is may appear pregnant. They usually live in the same community and study the environment. A family told their story from 40 years ago. Someone acted like a social worker and asked the mom to go knock on the door of a place and she drove off. She was canvassing military housing. Some do get solved such as when one young man thought he just didn't feel right growing up. He started researching.

They said there is an uptick in Hispanic caseloads of missing people and think it could be someone acting as ICE to take them.

Manners of Death

There are five manners of death and 1,000s of causes. Manners are natural, accidental, suicidal, homicide and undetermined. This pathology assistant speaker showed some famous autopsy photos. Lisa Marie Presley had a small bowel issue. She once had gastric bypass and had had plastic surgery two months before and was on opioids because of that. So much is revealed in an autopsy. Princess Diana was worked on at the scene; that's how they do it in Paris. She was talking on the scene. She might have made it at a hospital if arriving faster like we do in the USA.

Idaho

Stacy Chapin, mother of Ethan from the Idaho 4, was on stage with the Othram lady.  Othram was contacted to do the DNA that turned out to be BK after saying they could do a profile in 48 hours or less. The evidence was escorted from the airport to them. Officials walked the lab and saw the chain of custody and left it there. Their team does not know the case due to confirmation bias. They all agreed to work over Thanksgiving. BK's DNA was narrowed to Pennsylvania and Italian heritage.  If perpetrators knew the greatness of Othram, they may think twice about committing a crime. Some have been solved after 47 years. They solved five yesterday! SOLVING A CRIME IS A CHOICE, SAID THE OTHRAM LADY. Do you hear that, Boulder? She said she has spoken with John Ramsey, but is not allowed to discuss cases until law enforcement does.  CODIS (Combined DNA Index System) is free, but not as extensive. CODIS still confirms Othram's findings. Chapin said an Idaho police officer called them every night. She said she walked off a lot of her grief. Even her dog was tired. One day she and her husband decided their other two triplets didn't deserve to have parents that were derailed. Othram said if they had only solved this case, it would be enough. Those two ladies really connected. She hopes universities will implement their software and funding and grants will be obtained.

Colorado DA

DA in Colorado spoke about Columbine, Aurora and Kobe Bryant (Colo. does not use the word rape). He said the theater shooting was the largest, most logistically challenging, most media scrutinized prosecution in Colorado. On Columbine, he said his mother would have never let him disassemble clocks to make bombs. Colorado uses judicial districts, not counties for DAs. It's the only state with term limits for them. Praise the Lord. He showed the mini theater that was built for the Aurora trial, which lasted from January to August. There was one victim who people thought would be President one day. He said the trial is still on YouTube except for jury selection. He said the newspaper never liked him and he couldn't get an endorsement even if unopposed. He was funny. His team did keep track of social media comments and used some of the questions people were posting. Post to help your prosecutors, he said.

Cults

Cults are counterfeits of faith. They exploit religion and make it feel like devotion. Polygamy is legal in half of the world.

Boston Marathon

It was quite the serious police work.  It took 101 hours and 25 minutes to solve. The presenter showed a lot of sights and sounds. The carjacked victim could not speak English, so that didn’t help much.  The one in the boat rolled over his brother in the car. I don’t ever speak their names. The hurt police officer was taken to the hospital with an emergency brake on the ambulance the whole way, driven by a police officer, and it was not to a Level 1 trauma center and his life was still saved. Boston was actually shut down/shelter in place. Lots of jurisdictions were involved, all Type A. We know about the boat scene, but I didn’t realize there was a ladder near the boat and the man in the home had gone outside to smoke and let his dog out. I don’t know how the loser survived with all the bullets fired. The street was full of cop cars, only cop cars. It was almost impossible to move on the road, as Boston and surrounding city streets are narrow. I was never more frightened to drive than in Boston. This part was new to me: the exhaustion, hunger and thirst of the police during the search. The presenter said the dispatcher had an accent like Cliff Clavin on steroids. That was true! You hear the boat owner tell him, “I’m absolutely not going to the boat.” But so many cops did! A robot first removed the tarp.

27,000 were in the marathon and once the bomb went off, there was no cell service. They still to this day don’t know why. It was refreshing to see crowds yelling good job and clapping for the police. The dead brother’s issue may have been he was a boxer and was mad he didn’t get in a national tournament due to lack of citizenship. The capture was on Patriots’ Day, a big deal in Boston.

Susan Smith

What I didn't know about Susan Smith  is the community handled it well when she blamed a black man for carjacking her. If a black man had stolen the kids, she was the victim. If she gave them away, she would be a bad mother. Most carjackers don't kill kids. Apparently she liked a co-worker who didn't like kids and she wanted to start fresh with him. He called it shaking the Etch A Sketch. She also had sex with his father. She wore his Auburn sweatshirt in initial appearances. She and her husband were estranged. Her stepfather abused her at 16. He was a huge Republican Party leader.  The sheriff was her godfather. She is up for parole every two years and has had sex with prison guards. She enjoyed media attention, but they dressed her frumpy for court. Court workers had new hairdos and wardrobes. She did not get the death penalty; only one or two women in S.C. had at that point. Her husband and mother wrote books. The prosecutor advised David Smith not to look like he was trying to make money off of the deaths of the two boys. But the defense had a copy the first day of trial. He donated the money to children's charities. There was a bomb threat during the trial. When the test video of it taking six minutes for the kids to drown was shown, Susan was playing tic tac toe. They thought Detroit might provide a car, but they wanted media rights, so they got one undercover. The prosecutor said when choosing whether TV coverage should be allowed, he would look like he had something to hide if not allowed, and would appear to be a glory hound if it was. He said having a sketch artist makes good Christmas gifts.

Herb Baumeister

Herb Baumeister, a suspected killer of 13 gay men near Indianapolis allegedly killed himself in Canada. Their scattered remains totaling 9,800 are on a shelf at a university. Handcuffs are on some of the bones. It is the largest amount of fragments since 9/11. He was a business man with a double life as a serial killer. His son found a skull at their Fox Hollow home and the dad said it belonged to his doctor dad as an educational item. He apparently lured these men from bars to his swimming pool and strangled them with a hose. The mother of one of the victims kept her landline because that is the only number he knew. The government there would not fund DNA searches and put it on the families. The sheriff is not giving up.

Lineups

A panel featuring favorite Matt Murphy showed that police lineups are very difficult. We are more capable of recognizing our own race.  They showed how three people differed on stage in the race, height, weight and age. This leads to false convictions, which I am really beginning to wonder about. In one lineup, people were so sure of the guy, but he was at work making sales and they got his fingerprint on credit card papers to prove so. Some people are super recognizers. They never forget a face.

Sunday, December 14, 2025

I will miss sweet Evie forever, had to give her peace as hard as it was/is

Just a few weeks ago, Lauren said that Evie was living her best life. She could go down the patio stairs and get near the water and see all the birds and turtles.

Evie, our beloved Lab, only 7, was put to sleep on Dec. 1. I know she wanted to come back home with me. She had liver cancer, just like that. Just wasn’t eating yesterday or Thanksgiving evening. This was a dog that licked the dishes as I put them in the washer. She was very lethargic. They said it was in the worst operable spot and had no guarantee she would make it if taken to Baton Rouge or Dallas. Nothing could be done here. I got on top of her on the floor for a huge last hug, said she was my best friend and I loved her so much.

She was affectionately known as E, Evie Lou, E Dog, Beaut E, Prett E, Health E, Lovel E, Little E, Ever with a long E, Easter. Girl Whirl. My protector. She never failed to wait at the door for me. Never. Far and away my best friend. I deserted several “friends” recently, but she remained. She was jealous if anyone else got attention.

She loved the water sprinkler and going for walks. She snuggled at my feet and was always under me in the kitchen. She watched church with me and loved going to the War Room. I prayed and prayed for good medical news when I left you for tests. I now wish I had knelt or played Christian music with you. You were so tough the last few days, and so tender hearted. She always came when I said let’s go puzzle or sit on your towel. She knew minutes on a clock when it was time to eat and we did a countdown. You made bubble sounds when you had a dream. You knew the words Get In Your House (never a kennel) and collar. She would fetch her ball but not put it in my hand. I guess she wanted the attention on her. She liked Lala’s plush giraffe and pull toys. Lela liked to "circle" more than she did.

You were the best big sister to Lela, who shadowed you. We were a train. Peep Peep and E! You behind me and she behind you. You even followed me into the bathroom. I loved every millimeter of you, from the tip of your tail to your whiskers. From your toenails to your ears. Such a bright light. She just had a way about her and loved with everything she had.

I had so much more for our bucket list. I am tremendously sad and this so-called strong, unemotional grief "expert" is not working for me. Should I have given you more priority in looking back? Sure, I could have been more present. I'm sorry I wasn't home 24/7, but I love to work, too.

Love, your mommy, who is now trying to be the person you think I was

She’s got some cute baby pictures and some with David, of course, but I just can’t right now. We drove to Kansas to get her and she tooted the worst smell on the way back, that little puppy. I won't be going to some places the next few days. No need to call me. This is why.

Karl Rove wrote about his dog from Shakespeare: Now cracks a noble heart. Goodnight, sweet princess (with liberties). And angels sing thee to thy rest. Requiescat in pace.

People who consider pets a part of the family the past two decades rose from approximately 80% to 97%, according to Pew Research Survey Center.

JFK Conference 2025

 Always a pleasure to see my friend Judyth Vary Baker, a hero, in the JFK assassination case. Her IQ is 160 and she has been abused, exiled, haunted and threatened, the latest a few days ago. Dr. Ochsner had her work on mutated cancer cells that were to kill Castro, but not to her knowledge. Think about how some of the monkeys in research are re-wilded to places such as Haiti, said a woman who highlighted Judyth’s work recently.

One guy started his speech saying he didn’t realize he got a ham sandwich instead of a turkey until he sat down. They were mislabeled. If there are messed up ham and turkey sandwiches, that’s minor to this big messup of the JFK case. Interesting intro, and true.

Why weren’t the box car tramps investigated more thoroughly and why did the police who dealt with them all have different stories? They really didn’t retrieve evidence or prints.

Why were some photos missing of a guy’s film development or did I misunderstand? Did all film developers in Dallas have to pull Kennedy pics? Lynn Berry, a student in mortuary school at the time, said a man with a machine gun and a trench coat bumped into him on the corner of Elm and Record. Of the 24 photos on his roll developed at Walgreens, 21 were returned, but no negatives. The ones not returned were a picture from the curb towards the bullet mark and fence that he saw from Elm Street looking to the TSBD. The angle implies a NW to SE shot from the fence. Apparently there were notes in developed film to call the FBI if you caught something. Cremation is 80 percent of funeral home business now, he said, having gotten his degree and entering the family business.

The Badge Man is a figure that is purportedly present within Mary Moorman's photograph of the assassination. The Badge Man has been described as a person wearing a police uniform. Moorman was standing on grass about 2 feet south of the south curb of Elm Street directly across from the grassy knoll and the North Pergola concrete structure.

Casey Quinlan bought a mannequin in Hobby Lobby for research. One he saw was a woman and he was fondling the chest to figure out how to make it a man when the sales clerk walked up. Awkward. He said the case involves military fraud, the FBI, LBJ, CIA, the Pentagon and the Joint Chiefs. He called it a highly sophisticated plot. Also so many bit players.

I don’t talk a lot about Ochsner because I value the hospital, but he had mob connections, they said.

Landmines are covering infrastructure. That’s a good way of putting this. The fake Oswald visiting Bolton Ford in NOLA. There was a bunker in Dallas? Could a glass shard have caused some of JFK’s injuries?

Gov. John Connally’s nurse is still alive. Go interview her again. Ruth Paine died this year. You can find the staff at Parkland and some of the charges. The media was in the seventh car, not up close like usual.

They had someone do the Dealey Plaza presentation in Spanish. Ugh.

Rep. Luna is really on top of the records releases.

As Judyth said, this is all a bad fairy tale.

Friday, November 28, 2025

How to solace your sorrow 2025 column, 21st

At a recent funeral, the speaker said pastors say no one listens to what they say at a wedding because they are awaiting the reception. Some would rather do funerals, so I thought to myself, the deceased person really is waiting for their party in heaven.

He also said, “Give me the keys. It’s OK to go home now.” Dr. David Jeremiah has been preaching on heaven and mentioned the three-hour ticker tape parades for the moon landing astronauts in New York City and Chicago. That was quite a welcome home. So, consider the things that are above, not the things that are upon the earth. Colossians 3:2.

Grief especially makes the holidays a staid affair. Your mom and dad would be coming over for Christmas dinner if they were alive. You remember hearing him knock. The apron mom was wearing. You smell his Old Spice and her Estee Lauder. What would you talk about while eating? What would we watch or listen to afterwards? LSU for sure.
Set out something you knew they would have liked, a particular glass, for example. Maybe your wind chimes will ring out as a sign.
There is no playbook. There are retreats, books, podcasts, online workshops, support groups and columns such as this, my 21st annual.
Death can happen to someone you know at any time. It is certain. There are no retakes, make-up tests or extra credit assignments afterwards, said an article in the “Catholic Connection.” You never know when photos are all you will have left.
You may not get a warning sign. He blinked, and he was in heaven is what was said about Charlie Kirk.
In the Burger Chef murders in Indiana, a line said it is hard to have an unhealed wound and still go on. Jesus places a salve on your wounds.
Stacy Chapin, whose son was one of the Idaho four, channeled her grief into a foundation. She walked so much that her dog got tired. It felt daunting to be thankful. She had to carry on for her other kids. They don’t deserve parents who have derailed, she said at Crime Con.
Rabbi Harold Kushner felt he became a more effective pastor due to the tragic death of his son. In his famous 1981 book, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People,” he wrote that his son's life and death made him a "more sensitive person, a more effective pastor and a more sympathetic counselor."
You either present light so others are uplifted and see value, or you become darkness. Find beauty in everyday objects. After the Highland Park shooting, a mom bought her family new shoes to walk forward into a new place and put the bad behind.
A group became the calendar girls to help a friend through grief. They were each assigned the same day every month to perform a simple gesture for their widowed friend--card, call or coffee. They did it for a year. The leader included her favorite color and candy to the women in case they wanted to send a small gift, but it didn’t need to be monetary. It was for emotional support. It could be a walk or something handmade. Lunch or prayers. Or offering to pick up something for her at the store. It doesn’t always have to be words. You don’t know how people will feel or respond. But don’t do nothing.
If you are the one who is grieving, don't isolate yourself. "Take that bold step out of your door and into living." – K-Love. Don’t stifle your sorrow. Know that death is a release from suffering.
Your fingers itch to call your loved one. He goes with me wherever I go, said someone speaking of his dad. Marshall Faulk’s coach made him leave the house for his dad’s funeral. He wasn’t ready to say bye.
A group such as Red Bird can help mothers who have lost an infant or had a stillborn birth. The hardest goodbye is the one before hello, their article said.
Grief gave Flannery O’Connor insight into grace. It can be revelatory or redemptive. It can bring you together or further apart. Somehow you miraculously hold up physically.
I don’t think anybody is OK after the passing of their mom was a line in “20/20.” She signed your birth certificate. You handled her funeral plans. She chose your first outfit. You chose her last. She watched you take your first breath and you watched her last. Your birth likely gave her the best day of her life and her passing gave you your worst. I was dependent on my parents for everything. I’m with Virgil. “No Day Shall Erase You from the Memory of Time.”
Actor Guy Pearce’s dad was a chief test pilot for Australia’s government aircraft industry who crashed. His mother didn’t say, “I need you to help me.” She said, “It’s wonderful that you’re being responsible.”
I still have a relationship with my father, said Michael Gandolfini. I talk to him whenever I’m looking for guidance or going through something significant, he said. There are no goodbyes for them.
Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart is a Mahatma Gandhi quote.
St. Francis welcomed “sister death.” It is not the end of life, but merely end of life in this world and beginning of life in the next. The circle is broken now, but it will be put back together one day. Whatever one does now is preparing for then. Let thy hope of heaven master thy fear of death. William Gurnall. Instead of saying the day I die, say the day I rise.
We can participate in the healing mission by going to funerals. Share Christ’s love with the brokenhearted. They may be a puddle of mush with unrelenting tears and have an irreparable hole. Help them whether they are gloomy, rudderless or gutted.
The post-funeral flurry of activity will go away and that’s when grief will hit like a tidal wave. Ride them out with Jesus, starting in small ripples. Saint Thérèse said it best: “The world is thy ship and not thy home.” We are created for eternal union, life everlasting with God, which cannot reach its perfection until we are purified and pass from this life.
There are far better things ahead than anything we leave behind. C.S. Lewis
Faith does not take the pain away, but it does help you move through it. --Nicole Avant on the death of her mother
One man turned over written prayers at a relative’s funeral. We could have done something like that with thank you letters mom saved. Fill shoeboxes with those to bring out for Valentine’s Day.
They say when an old person dies, a library burns to the ground. Make beauty of those ashes and read a treasured book.
Grief can be immobilizing. It’s a beast in the heart that needs to be set free. You are a guardian of the memory. But don’t ruminate on the past.
A character in “Love and Saffron” said to another that it is disrespectable to be sad for President Kennedy forever.
Grief is an experience to live with, not an obstacle to overcome. Don’t seal off memories; hold them close. The deceased lives on in you. Revisit movies you liked; cook dishes you enjoyed. Think about the days you did see, not didn’t have. Sometimes I play some Eddy Arnold or Patti Page for dad and mom’s David Kerch song “If I Never Stop Loving You” and Bocelli. The music doesn’t sound the same, but a special song might make you sing instead of feeling like your heart is in your throat. I loved seeing the words Rest in melody for Roberta Flack.
Eyes are half-mast and air and sunshine don’t embrace your skin like before either.
This won’t work for everyone, but humor columnist Dave Barry’s mother at her husband’s funeral walked around the cemetery after reading gravestones and said, “So, that’s why we don’t see him around anymore.” The Paris Catacombs encourage visitors toward introspection and a meditation on death.
Be the white hat to someone’s black. This was a line at my cousin’s funeral because he was a great guy.
Be productive and turn grief into action. Squeeze every last second of life you can. Be a catalyst for changes that will save other families from similar tragedies such as stopping cruise boat deaths like Amy Bradley’s mother.
Have a you day. You will regain your bearings. One man does a pre-mortem every year on the same day.
Learn to play the guitar like your husband had always wanted you to. Another friend finished her father's painting and felt like his hand was on her hand.
One family hung more Christmas lights for their loved one's light to shine more.
A recent widow went to a tree house and felt like she could finally exhale.
A cat brought comfort to a football team at Bowling Green after a team member’s mother’s death.
A family encouraged celebrating Turtle, their dog who died. Bring in the pain. Sometimes a need is greater than your pain.
Joy and grief will eventually coexist, said a letter to the editor. Maybe mold you into a kinder, gentler, compassionate person. When we lose a loved one, we don’t lose the choice in how we respond.
Steve Guttenberg was so grateful for his dad. He held, bathed, taught him, helped him face fears, breakups and firings. The dad’s writing was beautiful like a piece of art, like a fancy sign or opening credits of a movie. Same as mine. He also was reminded to have money with him. My quarter in the glove box was a thing. Both his and mine knew when gas prices would go up. When in the hospital, the dad looked for the escape hatch. Mine, too. My father’s words had always been my beacon. Steve said. His smile was like no one else’s—same for mine--crooked from strokes.
Steve’s smile was muted when he died. The family was their trophy case. I know mine had a Toastmasters trophy, too, though. His dad was his hero, rock, wisdom, mentor, sounding board, net. Same, as I posted today. He put a note in his hands in the casket. Why didn’t I think of that? Then it became a rubbery, slushy year. Steve walked differently. His gait was missing a step. He peppered conversations with “occur” like his dad did. I use “fair.” Nothing tasted as good.
This was also in his book: Rosalynn Carter said there are four types of people on earth--you are a caregiver, will be a caregiver, were a caregiver, and shall need a caregiver.

Epitaph by Merrit Malloy
When I die
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give them
What you need to give to me.
I want to leave you something,
Something better
Than words
Or sounds.
Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved,
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on in your eyes
And not your mind.
You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands,
By letting bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free.
Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.

And at a Bible study on heaven with Jennifer Rothschild, she used an acrostic on hurting:
Hurt.
Offer that hurt to God.
Pray.
Expect.
She said death has no voice except the one we give it. Jesus is the final living word. Death is defeated.

Death Is Nothing At All by Henry Scott Holland
Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.
Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!