Wednesday, April 10, 2024

Fave Miscellaneous Tweets 2023

 

Miscellaneous

About time for #Shreveport to have a good weekend. Air Show above, LSU Ladies going to Final Four, Burns and Toms winning golf, voting, Norton walk, Pro-Life van coming through, mission at church.

@club_birthday  Add #BobbyFlay to the mix with  @JoeyB @LawrenceBJones3  #SusanDey #EmilyDickinson

#BuzzAldrin I’d love if someone told me I was the whole #WizardOfOz package.

Houston janitor accused of spreading STD to multiple women via office building's water bottles. YOU ARE SICK.

School crossing guard retires at 91 after 50 years. Weighs less than 100.

@MerriamWebster I come across them all the time. Plethora, myriad come to mind.

Replying to @MerriamWebster freak (a word you overuse)

Haven't heard this one. Shakira discovered she was allegedly being cheated on by former partner Gerard Piqué via the missing contents of her jam jar. She was out of town; he doesn't eat it.

#Amazon ending charity program. Average donation to so many charities was $230.

U.S. has accountant shortage. No surprise to me. Last thing I’d want to be. Gag.

Denny’s restaurant sign falls on car in Kentucky, killing 1 and injuring 2.

Panhandlers don’t like classical music.

Virtual confetti is the way to go.

Doll with hearing aids genius.

Georgians curse with greatest frequency, followed by Maryland and N,M. Minn. is least swearing.

#JaydenDaniels took him to museums and the jewelry store where the Rams got their ring.

Just threw away a 36-year-old coffee cup.

#JFK OneDayInAmerica I wasn’t faster than a speeding bullet. Clint Hill

#TrickOrTreat Kids don’t like Dots, dad. Will you subscribe to my youtube channel? Here‘s the QR code.

Marriage involves a lot more shouting “I’M IN THE BATHROOM” than I originally thought. Retweet

Hobart, N.Y. 8 used book stores in town of 351. #TheVillageThatBooksBuilt

#TheFoodThatBuiltAmerica Country Squares. That name is atrocious.

There is a #Braille flag with the Pledge on it.

#PharmacistShortage what’s next?

And in Louisiana Realtors don’t have to disclose murders, ghosts or AIDS.

Thrilled beyond words to see a weight gain product.

Dave Isay dropped out of med school to create #storycorps

Painter Adam Elsheimer when buried left only a worn coat, a blanket chewed by mice, some cheap furniture, a pair of white boots. Couldn't support widow or 2 yr old.

MTM mom came down w bronchitis while visiting & she called Mt Sinai & Dr. Levine, on duty, agreed 2 examine her. When he later told MTM 2 call if problems arose, she asked if acute loneliness is gd enough reason 2 call him. He said he could not think of better 1 2 b awakened.

Hogs outnumber people in Iowa.

People really count diversity percentages in films and movies onscreen and behind? Had no idea.

Toilet paper was food.

I don’t think everyone fell in love with Amy Schneider or part of her like she thinks.

35% said they are somewhat or likely to offer lump sums to former employees in the next 2 yrs, up from 31 in 22.  40% take the upfront.

Co-parenting is also about joys of the park, hikes, outings, Sunday waffles.

#BenjaminHall They said as clear as anything, in front of my eyes, they said, Daddy, u’ve got 2 get out of the car — & I came back & I opened my eyes & by instinct, I crawled to the outside of the car & I managed 2 get a couple steps out when the 3rd bomb them hit the car itself.

Wyoming judge won’t hear Kappa case where they were forced to admit a biological man.

In 19, 57% of U.S. kids lived w 2 parents. Down 80% in 80. In 19, 60% of kids whose moms had hi schl degree lived w both parents, drop from 83% in 80. 84% of kids w college moms lived w both in 19. In 19, 38% of black kids lived w married parents. Not just about lightening load.

There really is a Sweet Home, Ala.

Woman wants her grave marker to say I’m With Stupid. He will grant it.

I hate bullying. Just read something about classmates refusing to sign the yearbook of a student.

Does flavored Spam make anyone want to eat it more?

Wait, a bearded man in a dress greeted kids at Disney. Make it stop.

19% of employers offer pet insurance.

Genius of #Pepcid to sponsor hot dog contest.

Harvard undergrads working in dorms, libraries, dining halls pushing to unionize.

Heard this somewhere today. You stop a kitchen fire before it becomes a house fire before it becomes a forest fire.

Now there’s a shooting on a simple bus ride.

102 yr old leads exercises four times a week.

Why are they called hemorrhoids and not asteroids?

@kimkomando sees her lost luggage in a newspaper photo !

BLM & related causes received $82.9 billion from corps. Walmart $100 million. Amazon $169.5 mill. Allstate $7.7 mill. Am Express $50 mill. Apple $100 mill. AT&T $21.5 million. Nike $90 Nike. Airlines gave too. Bank of America 18.25 mill. Disney $8.8 million.

Crawfish can be nuisance for La. lawns. Who knew? Can be controlled with drain opener product called Lye. 1 T poured into the burrowed-up dirt will get rid of crawfish. They don't eat 'em?

Since 2018, Utah, Virginia and Washington have passed Donna’s Law, registries for those who think they could become suicidal and don’t want the ability to buy a gun on a whim.

Bride Magazine Puts Hairy Man In Dress On Latest Cover

His new face still grows hair.

#September11 contacts burned his eyes, but still alive.

There is a cave rescue association.

Births decline in most states, 15% in US since 07 w 9% more women.  Last yr 2.8 workers for every SS recipient. Now 2.2. Median age women give b is 30, 3 yrs older than 1990.

60% of people who choose to haggle for a mattress succeeded. Saved a median of $245.

Anheuser-Busch stock down 18 percent since April. Baaaaa

#Doors We like to keep some more open than others.

We were taught to write at the 6th grade level in journalism. I wonder if it's 4th now?

I remember when @tobykeith didn’t win awards that he should have. Blake Shelton said if nominated for an award, “I hope it’s against you.” Funny. The Almighty has been riding shotgun with me, Toby said.

The avg. person sighs 12 times per hour.

In 1834, a frenzied mob attacked and burned a convent on nuns in Boston. None of the firemen present intervened and some joined the riot. :(

I will not try ranch ice cream. That is all.

No new job has gotten as much attention as NY rat czar. 10,000 applied.

Francis Scott Key served as a district attorney for eight years.

Sock. Made in America, he said. She said, I’m tired of socks made in China #xmas

I’m pumped, she said, as she opened Curel. Pun intended? #xmas

Is watching someone’s home while at a funeral not a thing anymore?

It is concerning that a school portrait photographer pleads guilty to child porn.

More than 40 percent of S. Korean women want their proposal in a hotel.

Sign says if you want to spend, earn.

I do not understand why anyone would want a razor with a scented handle.

Scott Pelley was a copy boy at 15. You were supposed to be 16. His entire career in search of truth began with a lie. He believes an aggrieved veteran injected errors into an obit published under his name that cost him his job. Who would ruin an obit?

Minneapolis police shrunk 35% since 2020. Funding for 731. They have 571.

Replying to @stewartcatheyjr This begs the question. Is there only one state nut?

I hope this nonsense of warming freezers doesn’t poison our ice cream.

Emmitt Till’s funeral open casket. #TodayYearsOld

Long time ago but just read that a 2-story float's top section crumbled, pinning sacks of cabbages and bags of carrots atop a rider who couldn't move and was injured.

More than a million Americans have been conceived through artificial insemination and in vitro fertilization. I’ve often wondered if some date each other unknowingly.

Learned the AF is discouraging the use of mom and dad.

Dude was in 2 plane crashes. Surviving is 1 in 11 quadrillion and 560 trillion.

If you haven’t seen the Jets kid, find it.

June marks the 50th anniversary of the Up Stairs Lounge arson at a gay bar at 604 Iberville in NOLA. 32 died. Officially unsolved despite being the deadliest crime against LGBTQ+ people in US history until the 2016 Pulse nightclub massacre in Orlando. #TodayYearsOld

BMW unveils car that can change color.

Hockey player skips Pride Night. "My choice is to stay true to myself and my religion," Ivan Provorov says.

LSU great Alex Bregman stops by to visit Liam Dunn, victim of deadly Brusly high speed chase

“LaSell Parish.” Might as well have said county, too.

Someone dropped a phone in the pool. Another says that’s why I see #FindingNemo every time you call.

Highest utility rate is in Niger where the avg. woman gives birth to 6.49 children.

Now saddles can be microchipped.

There were 133 opioid-related deaths among children younger than 3 in 2021.

General Motors Funds Transgenderism Efforts in Children’s Classrooms. Leaning toward Lexus now.

To Weather RI . This southern girl will play.

People who are cross-eyed are more likely to cheat.

Fool Proof book review. Nobody wants to play the sucker, the gull, the chump, the dupe, the hick, the loser, the fool.

Retweeted When I’m mad at my husband, I got to Target and spend money. When I’m really mad, I still?? something is missing

Ga. Did Bull - y TCU.

#Stay+ Run that marathon, former cancer patient.

@JasonGay I don't know that child's game either, but I think it's Minecraft. Not Minercraft.

Only in La. would your watch think you fell when you hit a pothole.

Column says Disney is the happiest place on earth except when you’re paying for it.

How does an emergency slide fall out of a plane?

Cameras on buses. Yes.

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Steven Wright lol

She had the curious American relative pronouns: what the hell, why the hell, where the hell, who the hell, how the hell were the only ones she used. Christina Stead, The People with the Dogs

 

Friday, March 29, 2024

Fave TV Show Tweets 2023

 

Golden Bachelor, Generation Gap, AGT, Manifest, 25 Words, Jeopardy, Natalia, Night Agent, Shark, Alaska, Resident, Tough As Nails, Wheels

#GoldenBachelor Did I at least get a petal? Hilarious.

#GoldenBachelor I need poised on my bingo card.

#GoldenBachelor No one is attractive and many should not wear what they have on.

#GoldenBachelor has bad grammar. He said pulpable. Not a word.

#GoldenBachelor 3.7 million viewers last season. 10 million 18 years ago.

#SharkTank Robert’s had some facial work.

#NewAmsterdam beautiful ending and song #everythingworksoutintheend

#NewAmsterdam You get motion sickness going down an escalator.

#NewAmsterdam I short circuited.

#GenerationGap The dad had to go potty.

#NightAgent Biggest investigation since JFK. Me: Well, that’s not going anywhere.

#Jeopardy Three-named people. What about four-named people? Five if you add my married name.

#Jeopardy There is a gap year assoc.

#Jeopardy Dude might be spy for knowing German lower house.

#Jeopardy How do these bimbos not know #TerryBradshaw?

#Jeopardy No one knows hallowed from the Our Father but one knew fanny pack. This country is in trouble.

#Jeopardy Eleanor Roosevelt Roosevelt

#Jeopardy Did not know Bob Kerrey received the Medal of Honor. #todayyearsold

#Jeopardy Didn’t realize the placenta is an organ.

#Jeopardy Peter Roget struggled with depression for most of his life and the thesaurus arose partly from an effort to battle it. A biographer stated that his obsession with list-making as a coping mechanism was well established by the time Roget was eight years old.

#Jeopardy 1,000th crane to ask someone to prom is cool.

#AGT Fastest man on two arms? Best Box jumper. Smiler.

#AGT She is doing a handstand on his side pole handstand.

#AGT Female magicians are few.

#AGT I live with my disability. She waved with her feet. Beautiful smile.

#Manifest Jared or Zeke?

#Manifest Tonsil hockey

#Manifest We’ve done more with less.

#TheResident Given the choice between hope and action, I’ve always chosen action.

#ToughAsNails Why carry something if it rolls pretty well?

#FunnyYouShouldAsk There is a ballerina at age 85. Comedian: I loved her in the Hipcracker. Lol

#FunnyYouShouldAsk Man hid in Cleveland zoo for year. True or false? Man, how ugly was this guy, asked comedian.

#FunnyYouShouldAsk Man catches girlfriend on ghost camera. Now she's no longer his boo.

#FunnyYouShouldAsk Leonardo da Vinci invented the resume. He needed to market himself. In 1482, he wrote a document outlining all of his achievements and capabilities and addressed it to the Duke of Milan.

#FunnyYouShouldAsk Z was once removed from the alphabet? Howie says it would make it hard to see ebras at the o

#FunnyYouShould Someone has the gold and frankincense given to Jesus. BillEngvall But wait, there’s myrrh.

Question was about something written in blood. Joke was every word was a Type O.

And a man wrecked because he had JesusTakeTheWheel It was true.

#25WordsOrLess Seattle: not capital of Wash.

#Wheel Flight surgeon thought it was carriage proposal.

#AlaskaDaily Claire, you scooped me.

#AlaskaDaily Standing there you almost look harmless. They teach you that in Journalism School.

#GiulianiSeries He had to deal with the Mafia and Wall Street fraud.

#TheGameShowShow there was a serial killer on #TheDatingGame

I seriously cannot believe people can walk down the streets in New York smoking dope.

Even Worse Than Philly: The Baltimore Police Department Solves Fewer Than One-In-Four Murders

Fave Political Tweets 2023

 

Political

Re: political talk at holiday lunches zoom. Anyone want pie? Anyone want whipped cream on that pie? Anyone want some coffee? How to redirect. Not this girl!

#DanBongino #KJP is a train wreck, plane wreck, shipwreck. Lol

#DanBongino Stop being a stupid smart person.

#DanBongino Joeybagofdonuts

#RedAndBlueDebate Chinese flags flying in Cally.

#RedAndBlueDebate Fla. is not a state of freedom, said Newsom. Bonked his head.

#RedAndBlueDebate Tax on gas is 78 cents in Cally!

#RedAndBlueDebate Newsom is a blizzard of lies. He is cocky and has an annoying voice. Gruesome Newsom.

@JimJusticeWV I would vote for you just because of your dog.

DeSantis called Biden a listless vessel.

DeSantis line about the freedoms is the best. Freedom to defecate and build tents and do drugs. It’s insane.

Can’t believe Ron DeSantis has campaign material in Spanish. Pet peeve.

Chicago had a song Does Anybody Know What Time It Is? Now we know. Sen. Cortez on the resolution for the times of each senator’s farewell speech #lalege

#Santos how do you lie about your mother dying in 9/11?

#caralago and #garagegate are funny.

What if your license plate was - - - GOP and you were a Dem? Saw one the other day.

Missouri is now one of 11 states where women hold a majority of Supreme Court seats.

1.6 million people 13 and above ID as trans. Sounds high to me.

Sarah Sanders signs bill to create monument to the unborn at Arkansas Capitol. SarahHuckabee not to rule but to serve!

SenRickScott said there are 77,000 vacant fed buildings we are paying for.

Gov debate. Hunter Lundy is right about the party going in too early for Landry. Very unfairly done. I’m on Team Schroder.

#RonZiegler once worked at Disneyland as a skipper on the popular Jungle Cruise attraction in Adventureland. He later served as a press aide on Nixon's unsuccessful California gubernatorial campaign in 1962.

Trump doesn’t need to exercise for me to know he has energy. He plays golf, people.

#FOX She’s right. The only thing to stop this nonsense is to elect Trump.

22 of the nation’s 45 lt. govs are women.

A statesman looks to the next generation. A politician does not.

Caroline Kennedy said you know 138 times in an interview.

@piersmorgan It’s the Morgan bounce. Speaking on the DeSantis poll bump. Funny. He said Trump is chaos and drama and that’s his friend.

#MakeAmericaFlorida

#MarcoRubio congats on SNAP reform. My fave call ever was a lady who was behind someone at Dollar Tree saying she had spent 92$ on Easter candy. “Not a vegetable in sight.”

Biden MUST take a cognitive exam.

Do not relax the dress code in the Senate.

Accidentally released from prison due to a clerical error. You’re fired!

RIP, Joe the Plumber.

17 fed hq buildings are at 25% or < capacity.

@williamtaft27 long ago joke. Taft was the politest man in Washington. The other day he gave up his seat on the street car to three ladies.

@Silent_Calvin  long ago joke. Calvin Coolidge doesn't say much. And when he does, he doesn't say much.

@HerbertHoover31 made a fortune in mining and had homes in China, London, DC and Calif. and an apartment at the Waldorf. #WSJ

You can see a malignant tumor of @GroverCleveland at the Mutter.

#SOTU Pretty sure Joe drank the lead water.

Cuomo was named Florida Realtor of the Year. Funny.

FaveTweets Crime Shows 2023

 

Dateline, 20/20, 48 Hours, Other Crime

Drugs and ammo in his hotel room vent.

All these people have tats.

That man should come with a warning label.

I had those sheets.

8 yrs for a divorce.

@Dateline should ask the question Would you stay with a friend who just had a relative murdered?

Rep. Denise Marcelle appeared. #lalege

Seems like an odd route to Penn. South then east?

She didn’t walk up there and fall dead.

Don’t create a John Smith Fb page to buy a bike. Note to self.

When in doubt call all about.

Can you not get his address from the cell bill?

Shot 14 times. Not just losing your cool. You want this person dead.

Jigsaw puzzle of 2,000 pieces with 25 percent missing and you don’t have the box to look at the picture.

Detective gave her eulogy.

They grow huge water lilies.

13,000 calls and texts in one month.

Coasters. Matchbooks. Party favors. At a funeral. ??

Coeur D’Alene Idaho is beautiful.

He did a Benadryl experiment.

He left their bed to crawl backyards and bring home undie trophies.

The priest had to lie.

He went by Dufus O’Reilly.

Death certificate cut out of the vital records book. Cruel to use that infant death I.D.

At least you didn’t literally get burned. She’s a pyro.

She lived in 39 different places. 48. 5 husbands. Could kill someone in front of a cop and make him believe she didn’t.

Murder victim buried under their dad.

It was like bugs hitting a windshield. The Facebook arrest post.

Yay for the lady PI locating the delivery guy. He said they were arguing.

I think she had appendicitis.

He called him a cockaroach.

His nickname was College Prep.

Fresh eyes or blind luck.

Parking ticket is alibi.

Why does a nurse need to moonlight at a bar? And I would not go out with someone named Tim McVay/Veigh.

He spit on TV.

Anyone know if driver’s license tests are in foreign languages?

#Dateline said #redsolocup @tobykeith

Cold blooded. Ruthless. Lamentable. And that’s why Matt Murphy hasn’t lost a case.

If someone ever makes up a lie about me, I hope they don’t call me a druggie. Everyone would know better. But that’s low.

How do you meet someone at the movies?

Took the fifth 140 times. Why put her on the stand?

Who doesn’t check for gun fingerprints?

#LaciPeterson He lied about lying.

No one leaves the grave or reception of their spouse before everyone else.  He went home to get out the life insurance policy.

You don’t often hear about a condom being found.

We will search for moments full of you.

#abc2020 Sometimes I’d like to trade places with him so he could have a gunshot wound and I could be normal. But not in jail. They stopped nine black HHRs that night. The hospital is on lockdown. There is no story in my head that would lead to Aunt Barbara getting shot. Kalamazoo people are going to know car makes. Spoke at her sister’s funeral instead of wedding. Did her hair for her casket instead of a party.

#abc2020 #WalkAway should be the theme of every show.

#abc2020 I was just sure the little dude did it.

#abc2020 I’ve always thought Polly Klaas lived in a very nice home.

#abc2020 #newyearsevil

#48Hours He didn’t ask about his wife for 2 hrs.

#48Hours Car stitching hunt finds car. Genius.

#48Hours It all could have changed if they called 911. Three digits on a phone.

#48Hours I wonder how much evidence is found near bus stations and who gags someone with cigarettes?

#WhoKilledRobertWane Had he ever spent the night there before? He lost 2/3 of his blood and it’s nowhere to be found. Detectives always go to funerals. But the suspect having his own receiving line is new.

How did anyone not report the #Hyundai 10 miles away? And how was a PhD student stupid enough not to hide it? #Idaho

Bryan Kohberger’s sister starred in horror movie where young people get stabbed. I have tried to find the square footage. Anyone? #Idaho

The Mississippi tends to collect a lot of people who go missing.

Suddenly fascinated by automated license plate readers.

#TorsoKiller Dress in light clothes for where you’re going. It’s going to be hot there, said the judge.

#NataliaGrace Evil. She’s earned every single letter of it.

#PerfectStrangers Every ninth name of every fifth precinct.

#JodiArias dated vampire hunter and old geyser.

#FloribamaMurders Meth sores #IWasTodayYearsOld

#Murdaugh I like this young juror. Smart at 22. Creates two story lines. Guilty or not guilty but doesn’t decide til the end. Ainsley said Alex never talks about church or God. Important in SC.

#FloridaTeenMurders You wore my ass out. But don’t think I didn’t use you. Sheriff Billy Woods to the media.

Man’s body still missing 3 years after Georgia medical examiner shipped it via FedEx.

Trying to figure out how MGM would be liable in Las Vegas shooting.

#Idaho dude not “framed like the Mona Lisa.”

Did I hear it right that #Idaho talked to serial killer Edmund Kemper who murdered 10 people, as well as his own mom & her bf, from May 1972 to April 1973? Nicknamed Co-ed Killer as most of his victims were female college students hitchhiking in the vicinity of Santa Cruz County.

Amanda Knox was a child named Eureka.

I will turn the page and leave you behind. Murdaugh judge

Her body had to thaw before examination.# StormOfSuspicion

Killed in his cap and gown. No words anyone should hear.

Why would the bishop’s housekeeper’s husband kill him?

Religious Tweets 2023

 

David Jeremiah

I never met anybody who said I’m praying too much.

We have come a long way. From posting notices people gathered around to instant messages.

Israel — where our faith began.

Getting to know him, know him, know him better, make him known.

Keep seeking. Keep asking.

Authors, artists, poets, sculptors, musicians, all have used the Bible in works.

I’ve always had an incredible motor.

Jesus never out promises himself.

Satan tempts us. God tests us to make us better.

If you have the choice of the word of God and gold or more gold, choose the word of God.

Some guy said I don’t want to be a Christian because I couldn’t have fun anymore. It’s the greatest joy you will ever know.

His purpose is to change us. Not for us to change him.

Joel Osteen

God has net-breaking blessings coming for you. God knows how to get you overflow.

The Real Housewives of Nazareth.

Rejection could mean protection.

Have some “are you not the God” of stories. God of finding spouse. Spared from pandemic/wreck. Promotion.

If you only knew…what was ahead for you. He is positioning you.

Put up healthy, whole, vibrant pictures of yourself if you are sick. #WellAbled

Have that same idea in your mind as you do of editing pictures of you in your phone. If not good, delete.

God is about to open up a faucet of favor. Not a drip. Are you brushing up against him or touching him?

God knows how to make rivers in the desert. Barren ground into fertile.

You can’t outrun God. You can’t keep a praiser down.

Go where God is (leading you).

Other Religious

#700Club #BethMoore Her protector was her perpetrator.

#700Club Endometrial spoke to her as End of My Trial. Cool!

#700Club My nickname is LazaRICK. Healed man.

#700Club Jesus can untwist and unlock.

#Homily He is Mr. Right before marriage. Nothing is right after.

Great Pastor Bell message. Injured military man in hospital with no legs. He wakes up and says grab the towels. From a memory when he spilled milk as a child with his mom said that. He thought she would be upset, but not so much #GrabTheTowels

#SenatePrayer see the you in us not the us in you. 

In the Pieta, one of Mary’s hands is in an offering position. Art zoom

#KLOVE Prayer is not the least you can do. It’s the most you can do.

Flocknote is a cool name for a communication management tool helping Catholic parishes engage, inform and inspire parishioners.

#FatherMike In marriage someone can place demands on you.

#DennisQuaid The red words of Jesus.

#RhodaWise Apparition of Jesus. Injured foot cured by St. Terese. Stigmata on forehead. Witnesses allowed. Mother Angelica met her as a child. After novena suggested, healed. Raised as Protestant. Daughter died. Hubs alcoholic. 39 lb ovarian cyst. Befriended sisters with 1 locked spiritually. Devoted to Sacred Heart. Dr. has 47 tumors in lung broken into body. 3 straight days of chemo. Wife puts his shirt on chair that Jesus sat on. He stood up first time in months.

#Guideposts this sounds like me. Learning to quilt and seeing the fabric to my skirt.

1.6 billion Bibles have been distributed by the Gideons alone.