Favorite Crime Show Tweets of 2019

Dateline

 

 Netflix is an alibi.

 

 My parents had that couch.

 

 Both of them were all smiles. And they show a frowning picture.

 

 He had a cheering section with everything but pom poms.

 

 I’ve never talked to a killer. Have you? I work for #Dateline.

 

 Why would multimillionaires DRIVE to Vegas for a weekend?

 

 Plainclothes cops at her wedding. Scared of her father.

 

 I looked under beds and closets before I had an alarm system. And behind the shower curtain.

 

 I want to be a Collect DNA from the Trash Person. For real.

 

 Pretty sure I wore that same bridesmaid's dress in the late 80s.

 

 All my girls love me was his password.

 

 Yet you married her.

 

 He did a cartwheel.

 

 He fell into a dead sleep. Then he was dead.

 

 The head is somewhere in a gator’s belly

 

 Beverly Hills has a lovely police station.

 

 They hang beasts on the wall in the courthouse.

 

 You can witness your own husband’s beneficiary when it’s you?

 

 Make a how to fire a gun checklist and keep it in your drawer.

 

 I’ve been married twice. This is the only husband I ever had.

 

 The jury watched 9.5 hours of his interrogation.

 

 I bet prisoners are low in Vitamin D.

 

 Plan the murder right before a hurricane and there will be no law enforcement manpower.

 

 Her parents named her Crystal after meth.

 

 Always have a plan of exit.

 

 Suicide tree of India?

 

 I collect poison plant seeds for a hobby. She didn’t know?

 

 They were both zombies.

 

 Witness amnesia.

 

 Are they playing dumb or just plain dumb?

 

 Dial M for murder.

 

 Alibis lie.

 

 That's a new one. Prosecutor and lead detective in relationship.

 

 Apparently this time the husband didn’t do it.

 

 The wheels of justice came completely off.

 

 The knife was supposed to be a backup.

 

 Big gasp in a small town could be a country song.

 

 Son resembles W

 

 Mid-life stupid

 

 Cameras in barrels. Love it.

 

 Drugged pancakes.

 

 He had been married 19 years. She was 22.

 

 Steve collected trophies. Tampons. Pubic hair. Underwear. Clippings. Truly twisted.

 

 The old hag who gave Snow White the apple.

 

 Misbehaving in prison can add to your sentence in Ohio.

 

 Why do ppl text murder plans?

 

 Husband: she lost weight? Looks like she’s down to 275.

 

 @JoshMankiewicz #romanticgeometry you coined a term

 

 He would stab you in the front.

 

#PamelaSmart oh I mean dumb. You are no model.

 

48 Hours

 

 Part of a tooth found.

 

 Never play guess the candle scent.

 

 Cardboard and dental floss guitar.

 

 There are books on how to disappear?

 

 Why does a millionaire care how much an abortion costs?

 

 I'm kidnapping you. Pack an overnight bag.

 

 NoJuan in the vehicle.

 

 Wouldn’t a Marine keep a clean room?

 

 The author’s name is larger than the book’s. I would never buy it.

 

 His scalp was removed from his skull.

 

 If I’m insane I don’t know it.

 

7 residencies, how does he keep getting them?

 

2020 and then Nancy Grace

 

Did they just say grassy knoll? I smell a conspiracy.

 

Manuals about killing.

 

TODAY, GMA and 60 Minutes

 

#tobykeithtoday he’s the hottie. Gave whole new campaign to #redsolocup #howdoyoumenow #iwannatalkabouthim A little less talk, a lot more action @tobykeith

 

KLG is not going to be happy that @TODAYshow said Hoda and Savannah are besties.

 

What was your wedding song? Mama Told Me Not To Come #TodayShow

 

#60Minutes town that collapses in the fold of the map.

 

Pretty soon #GoodMorningAmerica is going to leave off the America. #prediction it will be Good Morning