Tuesday, February 9, 2021

Oh, the things I learned about Reagan

 

Oh, the things I learned about Ronald Reagan. I’m trying to go in the order Bill O’Reilly did. He writes just like he talks. Have a totally different impression of President Ronald Reagan right now, a less positive one. I believe Killing Reagan because O’Reilly said there were two sources for everything.

Reagan privately referred to the current President he ran against as “a little shit.” Jimmy Carter graduated 59th of 820 from the Naval Academy. Reagan rubbed his nose on a statue of Abe Lincoln for debate luck. Reagan wanted to be side by side with Carter because he is taller, but the lecterns were as far apart as possible. Reagan was too tall for mattresses, so a padded stool was positioned at the end of the bed. Carter blinked constantly and was ill at ease. Carter’s briefing notes were stolen and handed to the Reagan campaign.  It was not leaked to the public for three years. Carter used the fact that he had an issues discussion with daughter Amy, a teen. Huge mistake allowing her to decide, advisers said. Reagan used his are you better off questions and “there you go again” in the debate. Reagan won the Presidency, 489 to 49.

Nancy relied on sleeping pills and tranquilizers and astrologers, as you probably know. She was born Anne Frances Robbins and once dated Clark Gable.

In his movie days, Reagan was in “Bedtime for Bonzo.” The monkey understood 502 voice commands (more than Biden, says MAVO LOL), rode a tricycle, did backflips on cue and put on a necktie. Reagan had a seven-year contract at $200 a week. At war’s end, he made $52,000 per movie.

His first wife, Jane Wyman, gave birth to a child who lived only nine hours and Reagan was in the hospital with pneumonia at the time. Son Michael wrote that this was profound for Jane. Her film that centered around a premature infant death brought about a spiritual transformation and she was baptized Catholic three years later. She was laid to rest in the habit of the Dominican Sisters religious order. Reagan missed Patti’s birth because he was cheating. Reagan’s father was an all-too-often-drunk Irish shoe salesman and his mother was a Bible thumper. She taught him to avoid extremes in behavior. He craved approval and applause because he didn’t get it from his father. He liked to be the center of attention, screening “Kings Row,” his personal favorite of which he had a copy, for guests at dinner. He was fond of lecturing. Wyman once said not to ask him what time it was. He will tell you how a watch is made. When baseball came on, he pretended to be a broadcaster. He liked to think on horseback. Wyman’s growing fame and their daughter’s death combined to drive a wedge in the marriage. Jane had an affair. She also said she couldn’t stand to watch “Kings Row” one more time! Reagan is shattered, drinks and has affairs with women decades younger. One is Penny Edwards, 20, and Patricia Neal, 22. He had a one-night stand with Piper Laurie and took her virginity. Ironically, he was playing the role of her father in a movie at the time.

Three years after the divorce, Reagan proposes to Christine Larson, 26. He offers her a diamond wristwatch. He is having affairs with six other women at the time. She said no. A chief reason is because she adheres to the Baha i Faith, which does not believe in politics and he is becoming more of an activist. He was head of the Screen Actors Guild for five years. With SAG, Reagan travels the country speaking on behalf of an anticommunist group known as Crusade for Freedom to raise money for Radio Free Europe. He is unaware it is secretly backed by the CIA. He also enjoys writing letters.

 So, Reagan dates Nancy for a while and she confesses she is pregnant. He flees to Christine to say he feels trapped and often sees Christine on the side. He does marry Nancy,  picking her up in the Cadillac given to him by his first wife. He did not invite family to the ceremony and says that it’s not that he hungers for somebody to love him as much as having somebody to love. They knew each other three years and Nancy accepts his indiscretions while enjoying affairs of her own. William Holden is the best man. He bragged about an affair with Jackie Kennedy in the 1950s, calling himself the bedroom tutor to the wife of the future President.

Reagan faces debt, owes back taxes and insists on living the movie star life, dining at expensive restaurants. He gets the job of emceeing GE Theater and tours factories, learning about the economy and local government. Nancy has conservative views and read the National Review for years. She always looks people up and down before she deigns to speak. She does not cancel a dinner party right after JFK died. She had plastic surgery for droopy eyelids.

Reagan’s gubernatorial swearing in was held in the evening because of the alignment of Jupiter. Uranus and Saturn also came into play during the years. While serving in California, Reagan signed a gun control bill. He learned two aides were homosexual. He quietly let them resign. He is not bothered, however, by the gay astrologer. Reagan lied about why they were fired.

GE fires Reagan as he gets more conservative. Robert Kennedy allegedly told GE no government contracts would come their way if they allowed him to remain host. Reagan also spoke out against the Tennessee Valley Authority, in which GE had financial interest. He says he did not leave the Democratic party, that they left him.

 Reagan then writes columns and does a radio broadcast as well as speaking engagements. Reagan was a vain man. He refused a hearing aid. He was a fan of Calvin Coolidge, who eliminated wartime debt. Reagan often hid his knowledge in order to present himself as a simple man of humble opinions. He believed that made him more appealing to regular voters. During the air traffic controller strike, he invoked Coolidge by saying there is no right to strike against the public safety, by anybody, anywhere, at any time. The Reagans rarely go to church, but he believes interrupting a pregnancy means the taking of a human life.

 Son Michael is adopted. He and Maureen, firstborn, attend boarding school. Patti lives with her boyfriend and smokes dope and Ron, 17, seduced a 31-year-old in her bedroom. Ricky Nelson’s wife. The Reagans looked at is as good news that he was not gay. Patti posed for Playboy at 41 and More magazine at 58. She admits she was so afraid of becoming pregnant and parenting like her mother that she had her tubes tied at 24. She said Nancy slapped her when she ate too much and when she began menstruating at a young age. Her father called her a liar. Ron Jr. becomes an advocate for atheism.

Richard Nixon called out reporters publicly, thrilled to get the last word. So, this has happened before 2016. He was not a good sleeper and talks through the night. He does not sleep with Pat. Nor did the Kennedys or Johnsons share a bed. Nixon has a low tolerance for alcohol. He hinted at suicide. He walks the halls speaking to portraits of Presidents. Agnew never spoke to Nixon again after leaving office. Agnew called journalists nattering nabobs of negativism. Gerald Ford said not pardoning Nixon would cause a prolonged spectacle of a President on trial. Take heed, Mr. Biden. Ford promises a nation built on integrity, honesty and trust that will not be twisted and he wants to stop their decay.

Reagan’s presentation for Barry Goldwater is called “The Speech.” Hillary Clinton, 17, was one of Goldwater’s supporters, wearing AuH20. She switched parties, perhaps because of liberal friends at Wellesley. Reagan’s speech is full of the American dream, fiscal conservatism and small government. He talks about farmers, the Vietnam War, Cuban immigrants and veterans. It was described as the most successful national political debut since William Jennings Bryan, the foil for Clarence Darrow during the Scopes Monkey Trial, made his Cross of Gold speech.

 I Googled Reagan’s speech. It said: You and I are told increasingly we have to choose between a left or right. Well I'd like to suggest there is no such thing as a left or right. There's only an up or down: [up] man's old -- old-aged dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order, or down to the ant heap of totalitarianism. And regardless of their sincerity, their humanitarian motives, those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course. And: Well, the trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so.

Betty Ford called Nancy a cold fish. “Off camera, ice. On camera, warmth.” Rather than marginalize Reagan, a possible future opponent, Ford offers him a position on the Cabinet and an ambassadorship. Reagan said he can’t afford it. Ford is doing these things to keep Reagan from running for President. He does accept a spot on a panel investigating alleged abuses by the CIA to gain exposure. The other offers would make him subservient to Ford. When he ran against Ford, Ford gave a masterful acceptance speech. Ford hired the person who ran both of Reagan’s gubernatorial victories. Reagan says he believes the Republican Party had a platform that is a banner of bold, unmistakable colors with no pale pastel shades.

Rosalynn Carter also had a frosty demeanor. No liquor was served in the Carter administration. They did not want to appear worldly. Rosalynn grew up poor with a widowed mother. In contrast, Nancy’s inaugural gown cost $25,000. She expected designers to give her clothing gratis under the pretense they are being borrowed. She visited the White House several times to check out her wardrobe closet space before moving in. There was a lavish consumption on display at their gala.

Carter has one catastrophe after another. Inflation, skyrocketing oil prices, high interest rates and the Iran hostages. Eight soldiers died in an aborted rescue attempt, burned and left behind. Out of respect for the captives, Carter did little campaigning for reelection. He believed remaining at the White House made him look more presidential. Sounds like Biden and the basement.

 Nancy had a hand in terminating numerous staffers. She wanted Donald Regan to fire someone when she was having a hysterectomy, another one dying of a brain tumor. Regan got three times as many calls from Nancy than Ronnie. Regan discovered he was out of a job on CNN when Nancy issued a statement.  She claimed to be an expert at getting rid of leeches. Her Secret Service name was Rainbow in reference to her fiery personality. She decided who Reagan will and will not see. She is so hands-on that Michael Deaver says he imagines that when he dies there would be a phone in his coffin with her at the other end. Their astrologer also approves travel. This astrologer is on a secret $3,000 a month retainer. Deaver said without Nancy’s approval, Air Force One does not take off. Nancy sleeps with her head facing north and constantly knocks on wood.

 John Hinckley was born in an obsolete mental hospital before a new one is opened. He was the last birth there. We know his fascination with Jodie Foster. She won the role in Taxi Driver over 250 other actresses, including Kim Basinger, Mariel Hemingway, Carrie Fisher, Bo Derek, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Debra Winger and Eve Plumb. He also stalked Carter before Reagan. James Brady, press secretary, didn’t decide to attend the event at the Washington Hilton until the last minute. It took Hinckley 1.7 seconds to fire all six Devastators. Surgeons wore bulletproof vests. A 1939 Reagan movie inspired Secret Service Agent Jerry Parr to become an agent. He became the most important person in Reagan’s life that day. I don’t think we are told the truth when there is such a tragedy. Reagan lost half his blood supply. Soviets got alarmingly close to the East Coast. Patti and Ron Jr. did go to the ICU before Maureen and Michael. Maureen did run for the Senate, but lost.

Hinckley cultivated friendships via mail with Ted Bundy. He gets a girlfriend, Washington socialite Leslie deVeau. They found ways to dine in the facility and leave love notes. She murdered her 10-year-old daughter in the back with a gun. She turned it on herself, but it misfired. She was also found not guilty by reason of insanity. When he gets out, Hinckley can drive, but not talk to the media. He was outraged when Foster came out.

Oliver North masterminded the secret funneling of money to the rebel Contras fighting communism in Nicaragua. This was prohibited by law. Reagan denied knowledge of trading arms for hostages. North and Fawn Hall destroyed documents; she even carried them out in her boots and panties. She was given immunity in return for her testimony. Reagan said no one kept proper records of meetings or decisions. He admitted to approving arms shipments, just not specifically when. He said it was a clerical situation. No one went to jail over this. Of course, they also talk about Soviet relations in the book.

Chief of staff James Baker III is also a former Democrat who ran the campaigns of Ford and George H.W. Bush. He is a no-nonsense person and uses crisp analysis. Ed Meese is considered Reagan’s alter ego. Regan likened his job to a shovel brigade following a parade down Main Street. He was constantly fighting Nancy and her messes. Meese, Baker and Deaver would slow down meetings if Reagan did not understand a complex issue. Without insulting him, they would reframe the details until he comprehended.  Roger Ailes was called in to help Reagan for debate prep; he had been used to working with one director, not eight. Reagan wins in a landslide, 49 states.

Reagan is known to doodle. In the early 1980s, the New York Times reported he is contradictory, forgets names, stutters, has general absentmindedness and looked visibly adrift.  Sometimes he told a tale, confusing it with a movie. He admitted his mother died of senility and he would resign if it affected him. As we know, it did. Eventually, Reagan watches TV reruns and doesn’t read policy. Reagan loses energy and naps. He has trouble recognizing people. Tacrine was the drug he took. I have never heard of it. Reagan believed the ghost of Lincoln haunted the residence. He said he could hear the creak of Roosevelt’s wheelchair. It was kind of weird that I heard about Dupuytren’s contracture in a John Elway commercial while I was reading this book. Reagan had that, too. Bush doesn’t know what is going on.

Reagan endorsed his veep, but did little campaigning for him. The Bush campaign wanted him to be his own man. Barnstorming Reagan would have overshadowed the less charismatic Bush. Reagan’s pension was $99,500 and then he made speeches around the world.  The Washington Speakers Bureau earned 20 percent of his $50,000 speeches. He made $2 million on a ten-day speaking tour in Japan.

Margaret Thatcher is mentioned quite a bit. She was a chemist. She loved turquoise and hired a voice coach at the suggestion of Laurence Olivier to lower her voice an octave.  She and Reagan share similar political beliefs. She cut taxes for the rich and trimmed services for the poor. Reagan slashed money for mental illness before he was shot. She was described as having the eyes of Caligula and the mouth of Marilyn Monroe in reference to her offbeat look. Toward the end, Reagan delivered the exact four-page same toast to Thatcher twice at the same event. He went on for two minutes the second time. The audience was stunned.

Walter Cronkite has said Carter was the smartest President ever. Ben Bradlee said the Washington Post was kinder to Reagan than any President. Sam Donaldson, not surprisingly, was antagonistic and insulted Nancy by comparing her to a venomous snake, calling her a smiling mamba. Reagan could not answer one of his questions and Nancy had to whisper in his ear, “We’re doing everything we can.” Reagan once invoked “Born in the U.S.A.,” which really depicts the loss of homes and jobs for the working poor. Lesley Stahl would say he’d lose his thoughts, search for words. Studies later say the invasive surgery Reagan endured could have caused eventual onset of memory loss. The Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease published a study of Reagan’s news conferences. They found three symptoms: repetition, substituting “it” and “thing” for nouns and a decline in unique words.  Wyman attended his funeral. Thatcher spoke by video. She, too, was a victim of dementia. His tombstone says what is right will always eventually triumph, and there is purpose and worth to each and every life.  Of course he is known for believing freedom leads to prosperity and replaces the ancient hatreds among the nations with comity and peace. Freedom is the victor.

Random: Chappaquiddick fact--all of the doors and windows to Teddy Kennedy’s car were open or shattered. How did his 6’2” self escape yet the 5’2” Mary Jo Kopechne remain in the vehicle? There was no autopsy on her because her family opposed it.  The scandal was forced out of the headlines because it was the same day Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. Kennedy only pled guilty to leaving the scene.

Until 1900, voter turnout in the U.S. frequently exceeded 75 percent. It was 81.8 in 1876. WOW.

Learning about the butterfly mine is disgusting. They were explosive devices dropped by helicopters that children tried to capture and it instantly detonates in their hands.

You and I are told increasingly we have to choose between a left or right. Well I'd like to suggest there is no such thing as a left or right. There's only an up or down: [up] man's old -- old-aged dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order, or down to the ant heap of totalitarianism. And regardless of their sincerity, their humanitarian motives, those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.Well, the trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so.

 

 

 

 

Wednesday, January 6, 2021

 

Favorite Miscellaneous Tweets 2019

 

Relax and count to zen. That’s a good ad.

 

#heresyoursign someone calling 911 because roommate stole weed

 

I’m cheap. But not enough so to try to get a coupon to be used twice with a line behind me when the cashier told her 10 times you can only use it once. One paper. One on the phone. No. One only. What about a different register? No. Just no. #kohls #tistheseason

 

DDS Why are you filming an extraction? Why are you on a hoverboard?

 

I did not know you could steal your neighbor’s electricity.

 

Heroic Preacher Interrupts 'Drag Queen Story Hour' with the word of Christ

 

If I had a check signed by Neil Armstrong, I wouldn’t cash it either.

 

How do you operate a drug ring from prison? Plain don’t understand.

 

Kevin Hines #BeHereTomorrowAndTheDayAfterThat He is one of only 36 (less than 1%) to survive the fall from the Golden Gate Bridge.

 

Now there are weed bouquets.

 

Starbarks cute name for coffee cup-shaped toy for dogs

 

'Laziness has won': apostrophe society admits its defeat

 

Worry is like believing in conspiracy theories about yourself.

 

Nobody cares about Arizona. Liberals and cacti.

 

A couple was pumping gas at a gas station. A 5-pound chihuahua somehow put the vehicle in reverse. The SUV rolled backwards, crossed over a 4-lane road and came to rest at the gas station across the street. Only minor injuries.

 

Calif. may stop ACT, SAT, contending they are biased against the poor.

 

Plumbers are very busy the day after Thanksgiving.

 

I think the #butterball hotline book said bast instead of baste.

 

2 beer cans. Morning route. School bus driver.

 

Woman killed by feral hogs. :(

 

Difference in lifetime earnings between someone who has a high school diploma vs. someone with bachelor's. $1,100,000.

 

A feminine hygiene products company is removing the symbol for female from its packaging in order to be more inclusive toward “transgender” and “non-binary” customers. Seriously. Make it stop.

 

Let’s get this trending. Three digits that can save a life. 988 for suicide prevention.

 

The Boston suicide encourager hired a PR firm.

 

Nursing home did not report maggots on wound on face of resident for weeks. Loser.

 

Mary Ann Thomas Van Do Sell. That’s a new one.

 

A Bucket of Hot Diarrhea Was Randomly Poured on a Woman by a Homeless Man

 

Boston, Austin, Philadelphia, Buffalo, New York and Columbus, Ohio, have hired chief diversity officers.

 

There’s a koala hospital?

 

Another day. Another dud.

 

Trees. Wreaths. Decorations. Just no. Stop. Thanksgiving first.

 

Lela has found a quarter. I tell David call someone who cares. @Travistritt

 

Lash lice ew

 

Epstein has become a verb. Epsteined.

 

I wonder how much an obit is in the @WSJ

 

How old is too old? Town bans teens over 16 from trick-or-treating.

 

Shame on the mother who stopped her 4 year old son’s cancer treatment and is on the lam.

 

#wheelchairfoundation sorry to hear of the passing of #KennethEugeneBehring read his book, one of my top charities. @wheelchairFDN

 

Genius: Seuss museum.

 

Southeast Asia is one of the most internet-addicted regions on the planet, with the Philippines topping the global list with an average 10 hours and 2 minutes of screen time every day.

 

A Teenager Needed a Tampon. When Her School Didn't Have One, She Called Her Legislator

 

I never know the difference between the two Jimmys.

 

Biological male wins women’s cycling world championship.

 

Talking was the most popular way to communicate via cellphone in the fall of 2012. 94% did so. Spring 2019, it’s least popular behind texting, emailing, social media and chat apps, with just 45% doing it the prior week.

 

The first documented song in the English language came from the mouth of an illiterate cow herder 1,300 years ago.

 

Mall had drag queen makeover to boost shoppers. Just no.

 

No sheepskin for Wabash College. The diplomas cost $28,000 to $32,000, depending on the size of the graduating class, which ranges from 175 to 200 graduates. The diplomas would cost around $160 a piece.

 

Female truckers up 68 percent since 2010. Avg. wage for heavy trucks is 43,680.

 

Tyler Perry while homeless would go to open houses to see where he wanted to live and go to car lots and sit in cars he wanted to drive. #positivethinking

 

I just threw up a little bit. Guinea pig ice cream is a thing. As is mushroom.

 

Happy National PA Week to the 131,000+ Certified PAs making a difference in the lives of 9.1 million patients each week! Thanks for ALL you do! #PAWeek2019 #PAsDoThat #PAWeek

 

Great headline. They've lost their minds in San Francisco

 

Missing #barqs falls out of car when my hands were loaded. Hits toe. Rolls all the way to another parking row. #lostandfound

 

Eating hot soup. Husband says: I thought you were smoking. NEVER

 

Wow. Talk pedometers. Can I cut some people off after a certain number of words?

 

When you still get mail for the prior deceased residents of your house 14 years later.

 

Who would buy a prisoner of war guillotine replica?

 

"Eating human flesh could save the planet" - Swedish university professor says

 

Cool 2 read about La. man whose name is among those 1972 astronauts microfilmed signatures and took to moon. If you look on a clear night, you can see my name up there, he said.

 

Marvel Announces First Openly Gay Superhero In Cinematic Universe

 

Why would anyone want a raspberry dresser and headboard? Even a kid.

 

Let a venomous spider into the wild after pulling it out of human ear? Squash it.

 

Tainted food bank candy?

 

Trying to find the story about men were 2.5 times more likely than women to wear the same underwear for a week or more. It was removed.

 

29 Dogs Died in a Kennel Fire

 

A dog Tommie was tied to a fence, doused with accelerant and then lit on fire. First responders were able to get to Tommie, put the fire out and get him to help. Unfortunately five days later Tommie’s injuries were just too much to handle and he passed away. #Sicko

 

1 Chanel No. 5 is sold every five minutes.

 

Canned wine is trending.

 

#timex really? It took a college educated woman and air condition repairman 10 minutes to set your alarm clock that went out with the electricity. Had to get out the manual.

 

Students Sign Petition To Ban ‘Oppressive’ White Stick Figure In ‘Walk’ Signals

 

New definition for wedding crasher: she steals the gifts.

 

I admire blind people. That is all.

 

They are making lab grown kangaroo to eat.

 

No thanks on zucchini, spinach or cauliflower ice cream.

 

When you eat figs, technically, you're also eating wasps. Figs are pollinated by female wasps, who lose their wings in the process of pollination. The wasp has no way to get out of the fig and so they die inside, and then the fig's enzymes breakdown and dissolve the wasp.

 

Falling cliff kills 3

 

For Goodness Bakes

 

WWII D-Day Vet Had No one to Carry Casket After He Died, Then 6 Teens Arrived in Uniform

 

526 teeth removed from Chennai boy’s mouth

 

45% of delivery drivers are eating from my order???

 

I would hope no transportation discriminates against people in wheelchairs.

 

Never thought about cruise ships not having female commanders. Now they will.

 

You can't miss something you never had. Don't ever try to smoke or do drugs, for example.

 

Judge orders chatty defendant's mouth taped for sentencing.

 

Andy Grammer named his daughter Louisiana. Wife family from there.

 

Media’s Moon Landing Reminiscences Drown Out 50th Anniversary of Chappaquiddick (prob on purpose among libs)

 

It’s not food if it arrived through the window of your car. Don't eat cereal that changes your milk color. Eat nothing from where you get your gas. From Pat Day on the radio this a.m.

 

There is a 666 Fifth Ave.

 

Always irked when someone is killed by a rock.

 

Whhhaaaaatt? Can’t say ladies and gentlemen on a subway? Didn’t catch whole story. They say, “Hello, everybody.”

 

I go through the lunch line. They ask if I want peach cobbler. I said I had some last night. She says, "I don't understand why that matters." Good point, I suppose.

 

Did Ilhan Omar Marry Her Brother?

 

#WSJ Hitchcock was right about angry birds. Winged attackers step up strafing runs on humans. Elementary school. Show and Tell. Baby bluebird in a net. Mother attacks me. Hole in head. Bleeding. Scared forever.

 

Nationwide, 1 of every 15 women in prison, nearly 7,000, is serving a life sentence or virtual life sentence. It is growing despite declining rates of violent crime among women. States with highest proportion: California, 1 in 4; La., 1 in 7; Ga., 1 in 8.

 

Bus drivers make $100 a day? And to read a book to a dog you can pay $10. Belly rubs are $4 for five minutes.

 

Only half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace.

 

La has 1/10 of nation’s billboards. In 18, 7,000 accidents were caused by outside of the vehicle distractions, it is said.

 

Sad for any innocent person to be killed in a meth induced rage.

 

>80% of 4,563 Hospice centers that provide care 2 Medicare beneficiaries surveyed in US 2012-6 had at least 1 deficiency. Poor care planning, mismanagement of aide services, lack of supervision or training of staff, failure 2 get background, monitor meds, treat wounds, stop falls

 

Can't believe it's been three yrs since the Dallas police shootings. Just doesn't seem that long.

 

Disabled French man cried when he learned the government plans to starve him to death.

 

Charlottesville will no longer recognize Jefferson’s birthday.

 

#BobHope I have a wonderful makeup crew. They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

 

Never understood the freshman 15. You walk a lot. Must be beer. Never had one. Still.

 

A Jim Beam warehouse filled with 40,000 barrels of bourbon caught fire.

 

Nobody looks like they are rushing to save the boy who fell off the train platform.

 

Some people go to jail trying to get their kid into college. Those who cross the border illegally may get free tuition.

 

Elbridge Gerry once proposed governors elect POTUS. Heck no.

 

The last two times I bought milk, I chose expiration dates special to me. Dad’s bday. My appi anniversary.

 

Man was dieting. He took different route to work away from usual bakery. Did well for a week. One morning he said if God wanted him to have sweets, he would leave a parking spot open. He did just that -- "on my eighth trip around the block." #temptation

 

Woman Who Married A 300-Year-Old Pirate Ghost Reveals They’re Splitting Up

 

Hundreds attend funeral services for Korean War veteran who had no known survivors

 

Saks sells a $49,500 alligator bag.

 

Facial recognition app aims to bring lost pets home 

 

Sperm donor meets his 19 kids for the first time What if they meet and fall in love unbeknownst?

 

Cool twin names #barnumandbailey

 

41% of Britons say the TV or a pet is their main source of company. They have a cabinet level minister to deal w rampant loneliness.

 

“Second lady Karen Pence returns to school that bars LGBTQ teachers and students”               Why can't she teach where she wants?

 

You Can Change The Color Of These Sneakers Instantly So You Wouldn't Wear The Same Shoes Twice

 

Clip-on man bun. Business in front, party in the back. #FastCompany

 

I saw 2:22 and 5:55. Glad there is not a 6:66 am.

 

First partner instead of First Lady. Oh, gosh, California. #SMH

 

Flight crew taken to Fort Lauderdale hospital after feeling ill on plane @abc why just the crew? Tell us it was not passengers too.

 

Fire in an escape room. :(

 

America's first "robot sex brothel"

 

Only 3 percent of parishes offer Braille missals.

 

I hope you dance Dad and daughter had that plan for her wedding. He got cancer and is in Hospice. They did it via wheelchair.

 

Moose enters hospital in Alaska.

 

Why do I have to google every single national news story? Not ever #tmi

 

Woman jailed for drunken driving was really suffering from a stroke

 

When @DavidMuir says tablet and you think electronic even when story is about the flu

 

They are banning an overused word I never heard of.

 

16 yr old to grad from high school and Harvard at same time.

 

I swam around the world for a race that lasted 49 seconds. Rowdy Gaines

 

Girl finds out roommate is dating married man and plays every cheating song when he comes over.

 

Favorite Music and Sports Tweets 2019

PBS Country Music

 

 Leonard Slye is Roy Rogers.

 

 The struttinest strutter that ever strutted.

 

 Chicken one day. Feathers the next. Money was no good til u spent it.

 

 #MartyStuart has on too much makeup.

 

 Ernest Stoneman had 23 children.

 

 George Jones dropped to 100 pounds. Lost his house and slept in his car.

 

 Struggles, lucky breaks, producer decisions, both good and bad.

 

 Downloading Will the circle be unbroken, go rest high, where’ve you been (Kathy Mattea), wreck on the highway (Roy Acuff).

 

 Ruby, don't take your love to town has an interesting history. Used to sing it to my Ruby.

 

 He had trouble finishing it again. Vince Gill. #goresthigh

 

 No frills. Great description of #GeorgeStrait #bestsmileintexas

 

 He put a lot of stock in being Johnny Cash.

 

 From G chords, mighty revolutions come.

 

 That’s not a record. That’s an experience. Janis Joplin is that song.

 

 Kris Kristofferson was a Rhodes scholar and instructor at West Point.

 

 Webb Pierce sold Mason jars of his guitar-shaped pool water for $1.

 

 I hocked my guitar so many times the pawn broker played it better than me. Willie Nelson

 

 Memphis is not a country town; it is a river town.

 

House of Cards

 

 Claire in The Oval with a letter opener.

 

 Don’t spin me, Seth.

 

 Three piles: stuff you keep, stuff you might need later and put in storage, stuff you need to  destroy. 4) Stuff you don’t know what to do with.

 

 The ones who know us best know how to hurt us most.

 

 He has no idea how well you see in the dark.

 

 A President buries a President.

 

Holidays

 

 I only have ice for you.

 

 You had me at singing snowman.

 

 The world needs more giggles.

 

 I don’t want to see a bloody dinosaur for Christmas. But your personal EPCOT was cool.

 

 Why would anyone like a skeleton Santa?

 

 Their own Rockettes! Bubbles smell like peppermint.

 

Sports/LSU

 

The last time a sitting President watched LSU was Taft in 1909.

 

13 and O rgeron #LSU

 

What a season. What a game. What a man. #Burrow #LSU

 

During yesterday’s coaches’ press conference, Orgeron revealed that Joe Burrow’s phone broke on Thursday. When his parents found out, they wanted to get him a new phone. Burrow’s response: “I don’t need a phone, I’ve got a game to play.” That’s what I call dialed in!

 

#JoeBurrow keeps a mental log of every recruiter. He worked hard for 10-15 years.

 

C E-H is a beast. #geauxtigers

 

Claw Bama. #geauxtigers

 

#SweetHomeLouisiana Geaux Tigers

 

Might be late on this, but a Louisiana elementary school hoisted up an Alabama flag on campus during #LSU week and asked for $2,000 in donations in order to take it down in what they called a "Beat Bama Fundraiser," per @WBRZ.

 

This is the week that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and hate BAMA.

 

UPDATE: They have grossly underestimated the LSU fan base and the bar has already run out of vodka 40 minutes after opening.

 

#espnGameDay No ordinary jeaux #LSU

 

#espnGameDay Did he say red river? Duh it’s Mississippi.

 

#LSUTigers Moss like a bowling ball going through a bunch of pins.

 

The priest gave @Joe_Burrow10 a shout out at mass today, and the congregation clapped. @LSUJesus

 

Florida might win the coin toss. #LSU

 

Didn’t know #JoeBurrow passed out after A and M game due to exhaustion until today. God bless him. It was intense. #geauxtigers

 

Malzahn has been binge watching @Joe_Burrow10

 

LSU is surely suffering some losses. Phi Mus in helicopter crash. Student crossing street. Hazing trial ending today.

 

Joe Burrow waving the #LSU king. He is my new favorite thing.

 

I’m fluent in Daboese. #GameDay

 

Who thinks refs need to be drug tested?

 

#causewaysign Pay attention to what you’re doing. Unlike the referees.

 

#espys men with tall hair. Updos.

 

Ga. washed their stadium in pink. Fans wore pink "for Wendy," which meant the world to the coach of the visiting team, Blake Anderson. #sweetestgestureever could hardly make it thru story.

 

 

Favorite Political Tweets of 2019

 

#SOTU Great nations do not fight endless wars.When walls go up, illegal crossings go down.

 

#LaGovDebate She did not know who singer #CollinRaye was. But I do, @EddieRispone.  the title of his book, you will be #AVoiceUndefeated Both of you have stories of faith.

 

#LaGovDebate One candidate is saying Lose e anna. So wrong.

 

#LaGovDebate 70,000 illegals make that Louisiana’s sixth largest city. Geaux @EddieRispone on ridding us of sanctuary cities.

 

#LaGovDebate Watching CNN is a dealbreaker for me.

 

#LaGovDebate One candidate is an interrupter.

 

#LaGovDebate Businesspeople know how to manage the dollars.

 

#LaGovDebate JBE does not get along with both parties.

 

Make America God’s Again. Sign. Monroe. Trump/Rispone rally

 

#EddieRispone will leave forgiveness to God.

 

First of what will be four victories today. SC then Peacock then Rispone then LSU.

 

#DemDebate What in the heck is Joe30330?

 

#DemDebate Did Cory Booker say ——hole?

 

#DemDebate So Yang told his wife he was running. He did not ask her. That is sad.

 

#DemDebate And you have patriotism #ElizabethWarren with no flag pin? Put your birth certificates online too, Pocahontas

 

#DemDebate someone asked if #ElizabethWarren would use a bow and arrow.

 

#DemDebate Why did #Buttiegieg put his hand under his coat during the anthem?

 

Andrew Yang ended his Manchester office opening by celebrating with whipped cream in the mouths of kneeling people.

 

#Biden Are you ready for the 3 a.m. call? I think not. Go away.

 

Biden sayings: Gabby Giffords was mortally wounded. Jobs a 3-letter word, said he was VP during Parkland (no), recent shootings were in Michigan and Houston. #gaffes

 

Biden advised Obama not to carry out the bin Laden raid, that if it failed he could lose term 2. He was the only 1 not in favor of immediate action.

 

The infanticide movement is disgusting, Dems. #partyofdeath

 

You have to inspire and excite people. #berniesanders doesn’t do it for me.

 

I do not care what is on each candidate's playlist.

 

Tom DeLay owned a pest control company before getting involved in politics.

 

Our Hale Boggs charged against popular J. Edgar Hoover, saying he violated the Bill of Rights & used methods to "the tactics of the Soviet Union & the Gestapo." The controversy ended when he mysteriously disappeared in Oct. 1972 while campaigning in Alaska. Did not know JEH part.

 

Even the pardoned turkeys may be called to testify. #POTUS

 

Liberals Slam Ivanka Trump for Buying a White Dog for Her Child

 

Trump’s Tweets Matter. Love it.

 

If @realDonaldTrump got a dog, it would be a border collie. Lol.

 

Thanks to Trump, 7 million have quit food stamps.

 

"Everyone wants to be Donald Trump's fourth son." —Pollster and consultant John Couvillon, on the GOP field for governor, to LaPolitics

 

"Under this president, America is great again. We stand for our flag and we kneel to our Maker." Newly elected Congressman Dan Bishop (R-N.C.)

 

#Rush no other elected official or prospective one could tolerate the treatment @realDonaldTrump has.

 

Sticks on tiny flags and gum were not allowed at @POTUS visit

 

N. D. Rep. Aaron McWilliams (R) is co-sponsoring a measure to support Bible literacy classes. There is similar legislation in Mo., Ind., W. Va. and Fla., which are considering proposals to require or encourage schools to offer classes on the historical significance of the Bible.

 

Anything bad from now on should be followed with Trump did it. I don’t agree, but he gets blamed for everything. Algae is next. Mark my words.

 

Every U.S. president has had, @ the very least, a half-sibling. The four U.S. presidents who had half-siblings, not full siblings, were Franklin Roosevelt, Ford, Clinton & Obama. The president with the most siblings was James Buchanan, who had 6 sisters & 4 brothers. #NoOnlyChild

 

Bill Clinton Regularly Brought His Whole Family to Visit Pedophile Jeffrey Epstein's New Mexico Ranch

 

#ChelseaClinton doesn’t know the gutsiest thing she ever did yet co-authored a book about guts.

 

CA Governor Signs Bill Extending Health Care To Illegal Immigrants

 

#Rush Every headline might as well say democrats in panic democrats in panic democrats in panic

 

JFK Jr.

 

Every gift but length of years.

 

I forgot about #madonna. Ew.

 

Texas electoral votes have grown.

 

You can't waste a moment.

Favorite TV Show Tweets of 2019

Resident, 911, New Amsterdam, Grey’s

 

#TheResident Cerebral bypass is like landing on the moon. One shot.

 

#TheResident Define rule breaker.

 

#TheResident Spongy not spongey closed captioning.

 

#TheResident Pineapple pizza tastes like vacation.

 

#TheResident Cancer spread from appendix

 

#TheResident You rock. I suck.

 

#TheResident Evil doesn’t always come as a mask on a movie screen.

 

#TheResident Saved by the Bell.

 

#NewAmsterdam if I let myself grieve, I will never come out.

 

#NewAmsterdam I’ll burden you if you burden me.

 

#NewAmsterdam You’re blocking a blessing.

 

#911onFox better Buck next time.

 

#911onFox Buck, get me everything.

 

#911onFox I complained once. It didn’t do any good.

 

#911onFox Athena had a life hammer. Praise the Lord.

 

#TheResident My OR. I say he lives.

 

#GreysAnatomy She had to be told she was bleeding?

 

#GreysAnatomy The water tastes like feet.

 

#GreysAnatomy You’re damn skippy.

 

#GreysAnatomy Did you bring your own violin?

 

#GreysAnatomy 0 to 3 babies in 60 seconds.

 

#GreysAnatomy Sleepy and Pukey. My two favorite dwarves.

 

AGT

 

I had to lose my physical sight to achieve my true destiny. He is from Winnfield! Robert Finley. He’s got some moves. Sound and lips messed up though. Not in sync, NBC.

 

 It was like boot scootin doggie.

 

 What didn't you like about my voice? Your voice.

 

 Blindfolded w knife on fire thrown with her feet.

 

 The dog took his hat and rolled out the red carpet. Bow wow wow #greatestshowman

 

 Hard work. Dedication. Ambition.

 

 Jay is my least favorite judge ever. #BumpOnALog

 

 I’ll never understand how she won. Just horrible ventriloquism.

 

 Why do they let horrible acts through?

 

Bull

 

Didn't I see that guy on the cover of slip and sue magazine ?

 

Find out when he is going to be in court and plant yourself there. #genuis

 

You want me to be your Neil Armstrong.

 

I’m getting to be a pro at bono.

 

I hate me.

 

NCIS NOLA

 

I hate a fake southern accent. This abuser husband.

 

It’s always a girl.

 

I’m not saying aliens. I’m also not saying aliens.

 

Somebody really hates mechanics.

 

John Boy is on.

 

Manifest

 

I didn’t cheat death to live half a life.

 

Love you two tons.

 

I have a family that grounds me. Good choice of words.

 

No brother lets his sister stay in a cabin w a stranger.

 

Shark Tank

 

More men have facial hair than not? I don’t believe him.

 

WWYD

 

She may grow up to be a politician. They shred money, too.

 

How sad there is food allergy bullying. Someone died after being touched by cheese.

 

You didn’t have to do this. “No, I had to do this.”

 

Proud of Louisiana/Ponchatoula helping the supposed broke, hungry mother on her kid's birthday.

 

God Friended Me

 

Thank you. You’ve been so unhelpful.

 

God is behind everything, Miles.

 

Truth and Lies

 

I would clean toilets with my tongue to work at the White House.

 

Murder Chose Me

 

Did you take my baby to the country?

 

They use real reporters recalling the crimes yet fake ones and fake channels to interview Demery for the story.

 

Jeopardy and Pyramid and Wheel

 

#Pyramid Attention Notre Dame is not in Michigan.

 

#Jeopardy He proposed on evite.

 

This word shouldn't be this long, but it is. @patsajak  Abbreviation

 

 Favorite Crime Show Tweets of 2019

Dateline

 

 Netflix is an alibi.

 

 My parents had that couch.

 

 Both of them were all smiles. And they show a frowning picture.

 

 He had a cheering section with everything but pom poms.

 

 I’ve never talked to a killer. Have you? I work for #Dateline.

 

 Why would multimillionaires DRIVE to Vegas for a weekend?

 

 Plainclothes cops at her wedding. Scared of her father.

 

 I looked under beds and closets before I had an alarm system. And behind the shower curtain.

 

 I want to be a Collect DNA from the Trash Person. For real.

 

 Pretty sure I wore that same bridesmaid's dress in the late 80s.

 

 All my girls love me was his password.

 

 Yet you married her.

 

 He did a cartwheel.

 

 He fell into a dead sleep. Then he was dead.

 

 The head is somewhere in a gator’s belly

 

 Beverly Hills has a lovely police station.

 

 They hang beasts on the wall in the courthouse.

 

 You can witness your own husband’s beneficiary when it’s you?

 

 Make a how to fire a gun checklist and keep it in your drawer.

 

 I’ve been married twice. This is the only husband I ever had.

 

 The jury watched 9.5 hours of his interrogation.

 

 I bet prisoners are low in Vitamin D.

 

 Plan the murder right before a hurricane and there will be no law enforcement manpower.

 

 Her parents named her Crystal after meth.

 

 Always have a plan of exit.

 

 Suicide tree of India?

 

 I collect poison plant seeds for a hobby. She didn’t know?

 

 They were both zombies.

 

 Witness amnesia.

 

 Are they playing dumb or just plain dumb?

 

 Dial M for murder.

 

 Alibis lie.

 

 That's a new one. Prosecutor and lead detective in relationship.

 

 Apparently this time the husband didn’t do it.

 

 The wheels of justice came completely off.

 

 The knife was supposed to be a backup.

 

 Big gasp in a small town could be a country song.

 

 Son resembles W

 

 Mid-life stupid

 

 Cameras in barrels. Love it.

 

 Drugged pancakes.

 

 He had been married 19 years. She was 22.

 

 Steve collected trophies. Tampons. Pubic hair. Underwear. Clippings. Truly twisted.

 

 The old hag who gave Snow White the apple.

 

 Misbehaving in prison can add to your sentence in Ohio.

 

 Why do ppl text murder plans?

 

 Husband: she lost weight? Looks like she’s down to 275.

 

 @JoshMankiewicz #romanticgeometry you coined a term

 

 He would stab you in the front.

 

#PamelaSmart oh I mean dumb. You are no model.

 

48 Hours

 

 Part of a tooth found.

 

 Never play guess the candle scent.

 

 Cardboard and dental floss guitar.

 

 There are books on how to disappear?

 

 Why does a millionaire care how much an abortion costs?

 

 I'm kidnapping you. Pack an overnight bag.

 

 NoJuan in the vehicle.

 

 Wouldn’t a Marine keep a clean room?

 

 The author’s name is larger than the book’s. I would never buy it.

 

 His scalp was removed from his skull.

 

 If I’m insane I don’t know it.

 

7 residencies, how does he keep getting them?

 

2020 and then Nancy Grace

 

Did they just say grassy knoll? I smell a conspiracy.

 

Manuals about killing.

 

TODAY, GMA and 60 Minutes

 

#tobykeithtoday he’s the hottie. Gave whole new campaign to #redsolocup #howdoyoumenow #iwannatalkabouthim A little less talk, a lot more action @tobykeith

 

KLG is not going to be happy that @TODAYshow said Hoda and Savannah are besties.

 

What was your wedding song? Mama Told Me Not To Come #TodayShow

 

#60Minutes town that collapses in the fold of the map.

 

Pretty soon #GoodMorningAmerica is going to leave off the America. #prediction it will be Good Morning

 

Favorite Religious Tweets 2019 

Joel Osteen

 

 Don’t be satisfied with the same level of glory.

 

 I am strong in the Lord. God being for me is more than the world being against me.

 

 Be the smile of God and God will smile on you.

 

 Enemies of lack, sickness, loneliness — you might as well have a going away party. This is a new day. You have been armed for strength. #outlast

 

 He parted red seas. He opened blind eyes.

 

 Obstacles get you prepared.

 

 God works where there is faith.

 

 Every step is serving His plan.

 

 Don’t say my cancer, my diabetes. Diseases are on foreign territory.

 

 Bitterness. The longer you hold on, the harder it is to get rid of it.

 

 The enemy doesn't come against people who don't have anything.

 

 If you only knew all the things God has refused to happen to you.

 

 God doesn’t play around with those who stir up trouble. He doesn’t take it lightly.

 

 In discord, they are coming against the God who put blessing on you.

 

 Some doors are supposed to close.

 

 Her want-to got big enough.

 

 When the odds are against you, you have to want it on a new level.

 

 Keep a warrior mentality.

 

 The enemy's best is not enough.

 

 Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner has a fascinating story. One of nine. Father died young. Mother a maid. Goes to Harvard Law.

 

 Most people are happiest at 20. Bumps up again at 70.

 

 Come over to His side. You'll get your joy back.

 

 Shake off the blahs.

 

 A good father won’t give a gift at the wrong time. #prodigalson Marriage, new homes. What has your name on it won’t go to anyone else.

 

 We live in a microwave society, but serve a crockpot God.

 

 Patience is developed in the weight room. #Growing

 

 Sometimes we come in at the end of the movie. You don't see what a successful person might have gone through.

 

 I’m calling in youth, good memory, strength, courage, greatness, new levels, confidence, wholeness, restoration, vitality, blessings, fresh vision.

 

 Don’t call in defeat and limitations. Call in favor, influence, destiny, a new house, customers, scholarship, promotion, healing, victory, breakthroughs, abundance, that orphanage you want to build. You have not because you call not. Activate your dreams. #callitin

 

 God knows how to change your status.

 

 Take a break from you and go be good to somebody else.

 

 Serve your way up. When Job served others, he went higher.

 

 He prunes us to prepare for new growth.

 

 How you live in private will decide how you are promoted in public.

 

 Gaining without integrity is losing with God.

 

 Elephant pregnancy is 2 years. Something big is coming.  Something out of the ordinary. I thought I was birthing a puppy; I did not know a Compaq Center was in me.

 

 Sarah watered down the promise. Believe. Take the limits off of him.

 

David Jeremiah

 

 God said it. I believe it. That settles it.

 

 Spiritual growth is falling down and getting up all the way to heaven.

 

 Beatles predicted not to make it. Walt Disney was told he had no imagination. Edison was called stupid. Einstein couldn’t speak or read at the time others could. Churchill failed sixth grade. Ppl who are successful have prob failed more than others.

 

You failed the first time like at: Walking. Swimming. Batting. Worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.

 

 We love out of the reservoir God loved for us. You have a reservoir of God’s love to use on others.

 

 Look for the quiet moment or experience of wonder.

 

 The most significant thing that happened in the world was in a manger.

 

 Host of characters. Prostitutes. Spies. Foreigners. Kings. Paupers. Military. Hard to pronounce names. And dozens of begots.

 

 Every tree has some sap in it.

 

 Love authenticates our discipleship.

 

 Jesus was born to die.

 

 No combination of rotten eggs will make a good omelet. C.S. Lewis

 

  I can be like Jesus from the inside out.

 

 The more you grow up, the less you blow up.

 

 You tell your problems to God, but tell your problems about God. It neutralizes the situation.

 

 When you memorize the Bible, you make God’s word portable.

 

 William Randolph Hurst desired a piece of art he saw. He commissioned someone to find it for him. It was in his own collection and he didn’t know it.

 

 All the gold mined in the whole world would fit in two Olympic swimming pools. #precious

 

 God’s promises are incalculable.

 

 If you don’t have the black notes, you can’t play harmony.

 

 Don’t be flabby as a Christian.

 

 Don't sit on your gifts. Admire them.

 

 Don't nurse your anger.

 

Religious

 

#700Club Jesus is always the main character. He swoops in to serve me.

 

#700Club Did she say his room number was 2911?

 

#700Club God stretches your 90 percent #tithing

  

Bitterness consumes the vessel that contains it. Hurricane, the boxer

 

Suffering is where she found God. #kaylamueller

 

Story says ancient Catholics who died by suicide have thrown away their soul and taken away the opportunity that would otherwise be available to confess that sin and ask for forgiveness.

 

Depressed pastor says he prayed, read the Bible, and was anointed so many times you could have deep fried him in holy water.